United Forum
Go Back   United Forum > Everything else > News, Current Affairs & Politics
Reply
 
Old 16-12-2017, 10:19 AM
My Name is Keith
 
Default Pam Ayres - the spy that came in from the cold



Quote:
BBC Security Correspondent Frank Gardner today reported on new de-classified MI6 files which have revealed the most unlikeliest of spy’s.

The files code named “air” reveal how Ayres’ growing national and international appeal in the mid 70’s alerted British spooks to the potential of using unassuming British stars as vehicles for their foreign intelligence gathering. Other stars named in the files but never used for a variety of reasons included Bernie Clifton and his ostrich. Clifton is described by Intelligence Officers in the files as a ‘deeply troubling character....with questionable morals’ including a ‘open leaning towards satanism’. It is understood that this led to Clifton becoming ‘of interest’ to the Service rather than an operative used by it.

Ayres was different though. Very different. In 1975, Ayres appeared on the television talent show Opportunity Knocks. This led to a wide variety of guest appearances on TV and radio shows including a growing international reputation. Whilst she was a comic with a distinctly British lilt, she had an unexpectedly huge following within the former eastern bloc countries. The former Yugoslavian president proposed that Ayres receive the Order of Stalin for services to entertainment in 1979 but was re-buked by superiors within the Kremlin.

It was through these tours that Ayres was first approached by British Spooks to obtain sensitive information which was passed secretly between her and her keepers through her poetry. Her famous poem entitled ‘Oh, I Wish I'd Looked After Me Teeth’ can now be revealed as a reference to Russia’s nuclear capability at its north westerly border in the Baltic’s.

Her activities ceased abruptly in 1983 albeit the files do not reveal the cause of her de-commission from the Service.

Ayres was asked to comment on these revelations and responded in traditional rhyme:

Oh, I wish I’d looked after me self,
And spotted the dangers to me health
All the errands I ran,
For the faceless man.
Oh, I wish I’d looked after me self.

 
Old 16-12-2017, 10:35 AM
no fun
 
Default

I suspect this is an elaborate hoax

Having said that, I did hear a rumour that bobby Davro foiled a Kremlin plot to fund civil unrest in tunbridge wells
 
Old 16-12-2017, 10:48 AM
Zorg
 
Default

Quote:
the most unlikeliest of spy’s
 
Old 16-12-2017, 10:51 AM
My Name is Keith
 
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zorg
Frank's wheelchair bound pal. Hope you feel proud.
 
Old 16-12-2017, 11:12 AM
Cream
 
Default

I thought this was revealed years ago?

This, however, is disturbing:

Quote:
Other stars named in the files but never used for a variety of reasons included Bernie Clifton and his ostrich. Clifton is described by Intelligence Officers in the files as a ‘deeply troubling character....with questionable morals’ including a ‘open leaning towards satanism’.
 
Old 16-12-2017, 11:27 AM
My Name is Keith
 
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cream
I thought this was revealed years ago?

This, however, is disturbing:
Look at him, dead in the eyes:

 
Old 16-12-2017, 11:30 AM
sweetleftfoot
 
Default

They're not his real legs you know? Crazy.
 
Old 16-12-2017, 12:53 PM
shenwen
 
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by My Name is Keith
Look at him, dead in the eyes:



That face. Captures perfectly that moment of existential self realisation. “This is who I am”. The dread.

Either that or he was pissed again
 
Old 16-12-2017, 03:54 PM
red in cumbria
 
Default

So then, Bernie Clifton but not Keith Harris?
 
Old 16-12-2017, 03:58 PM
Big Norm
 
Default

Anything in the files about Schnorbitz?

Never trusted that f***er.
Reply
Thread Tools
Similar Threads for: Pam Ayres - the spy that came in from the cold
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Are people who cold call and sell anti-cold calling devices to old people the descendants of god? forzagarza Off Topic 5 08-02-2016 02:56 PM
Cold War Pop thrills_pills_bellyaches Music 5 12-06-2013 04:56 AM
PAID: Tony Ayres v Gary Anderson Sloppy Settled 0 06-06-2010 03:36 PM
when you have a cold... Billy Baroo Off Topic 3 14-11-2007 11:09 AM
I have a cold. MUFC One Love Off Topic 7 26-09-2007 11:25 AM
All times are GMT. The time now is 03:00 AM.

Copyright ©2006 - 2018 utdforum.com. This site is in no way affiliated to Manchester United Football Club.