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Unread 01-05-2008, 08:27 AM
My Name is Keith
 
Default Chelsea’s Celebrations.

Jesus wept.

In between soft focussed shots of Fat F£#%&!’s tearful puppy dog eyes, viewers were unfortunate to be shown some of the most abhorrent post match celebrations ever played out on live television.

Bearing in mind the fact that Chelsea have as yet, won £#%&! all this season, I could see no justification for any extended celebration at the end of the match - let alone over 5 minutes of full-on excruciating ‘Chris Waddle arms up and down’ dancing.

£#%&! me, surely football and its supporters cannot stoop any lower? Is there no stone of self respect left unturned?

Forget John Barnes’s rap, the sight of Didier ‘tarpaulin’ Drogba leading a whole stand in the ‘moron dance’ will take some beating in the embarrassment stakes. Looking round the stands, it struck me that Chelsea supporters have the lowest IQ of any football club in the world. Never before have as many truly dumb people danced together on this sort of scale.

Man’s blood turned cold jus watchin shit. Confirmed.

I’m sure it’s a cockney thing. Well, perhaps the Geordies would do it. Ok, maybe fans in Yorkshire would too. But not us. Over the top, overstated, classless and strikingly unfunny. It was a timely reminder why I find the vast majority of cockneys so utterly repellent.

Just as I was recovering, the camera panned onto the Liverpool supporters and focused on what can only described as a 38 year old virgin wearing gigantic telescopic glasses and an acrylic jumper which looked like it could generate enough static electricity to power a 60,000 sqft office building with comfort cooling.

I’ve been down on our own fans of late but I’ve never been more happy, (despite chants of ‘who are you? to the world famous Barcelona) to be a United fan.
 
Unread 01-05-2008, 08:29 AM
MUFC One Love
 
Default

Yep. @#%&!s.

Their fans interestingly were singing "Who tha fack are man yuniiiiteddd" when they was winning, to. Interesting considering we're top of the table with 2 games to go and face them in the final they were celebrating getting to.

To conclude, yes, cockneys are £#%&!ing @#%&!s.
 
Unread 01-05-2008, 08:33 AM
armchair
 
Default

Grant mentioned the holocaust.
 
Unread 01-05-2008, 08:37 AM
no fun
 
Default

an interesting post keith

I saw a tv interview with chelsea fans after the match, and jumped to 3 conclusions

* they were financial advisors who lived in Ruislip
* they think prince william is a ruddy good bloke
* men dressed in black from salford will be stealing their tickets in moscow


btw keith, if you are in touch with the biological father of your wifes new baby, would you pass on my congratulations ?
 
Unread 01-05-2008, 08:39 AM
Fuzzy Dunlop
 
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by armchair
Grant mentioned the holocaust.
He did in his £#%&!ing bollox, did he really?
 
Unread 01-05-2008, 08:40 AM
Gog Coch
 
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by armchair
Grant mentioned the holocaust.
It was 'Holocaust Day' bothe him and Abramovitch are Jewish and both speak Hebrew.
 
Unread 01-05-2008, 08:42 AM
jaffo
 
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by no fun

btw keith, if you are in touch with the biological father of your wifes new baby, would you pass on my congratulations ?
Mine too Keith, great post as well
 
Unread 01-05-2008, 08:45 AM
no fun
 
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by My Name is Keith
Never before have as many truly dumb people danced together on this sort of scale.
Queens "we will rock you" at Live Aid took some beating
 
Unread 01-05-2008, 08:45 AM
My Name is Keith
 
Default

No Fun,

your're right, there's no doubt that Chelsea's support has changed more than most since the late 80's but I like to cling on to the fact that they are still cockney @#%&!s. Even though they're not.

They did show a fat blob who had chelsea tatts all over him and had [gasp] taken off his top - as though taking off your shirt sets you apart as some kind of special fan.

£#%&!ers.

I've passed on your kind commenst to Mrs keith and the bloke who comes round trying to sell cleaning products.

Cheers.
 
Unread 01-05-2008, 09:18 AM
Ashley's Grime
 
Default

I must admit I'm a bit surprised how they are going on about Lampard's mam's 'tragic early death.'


Wasn't Ronny's dad about 50 when he died and Ronny just got on with it, no crying on the pitch or anything.
 
Unread 01-05-2008, 09:22 AM
armchair
 
Default

They've played her death imo. The celebration against us was so £#%&!ing tawdry.
 
Unread 01-05-2008, 09:23 AM
Sparky***
 
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ashley's Grime
I must admit I'm a bit surprised how they are going on about Lampard's mam's 'tragic early death.'


Wasn't Ronny's dad about 50 when he died and Ronny just got on with it, no crying on the pitch or anything.
You're forgetting one thing. Ronaldo may come across as a pampered tart but he is one tough cookie mentally. Taken from Madeira at the age of 11, without his parents to Lisbon. Then to England at age 17 - public enemy number 1 by the age of 21.
 
Unread 01-05-2008, 09:26 AM
Ashley's Grime
 
Default

Thank £#%&! Lampard scored though !
 
Unread 01-05-2008, 09:28 AM
elephantstone
 
Thumbs up

great post Keith
 
Unread 01-05-2008, 09:29 AM
Billy Baroo
 
Default

i'm £#%&!ing sick of death being used as a PR opportunity

fair £#%&!s to the fat boy though, must have been very emotional for him and his absurd looking old fella on a personal level

just wish the telly, fans and clubs would leave them to their grief
 
Unread 01-05-2008, 09:31 AM
antonin jablonsky
 
Default

Given time to reflect I'm sure the shine was taken off their reaching their first CL Final by the fact they aren't gonna be playing a foreign team. They've likely slumped into a severe depression now, having given it some contemplation.
 
Unread 01-05-2008, 09:37 AM
Jez Quigley
 
Exclamation

a vaguely related topic - I'm sick to death of X-Factor type shows where the contestant bursts into tears and says 'I'm doing it for my Gran, who I miss very much, she always wanted me to be a star' type crap.

Honestly - I would never hand in a report at work and say 'Listen, I know the figures don't add up but, sniff, my Dad, he was my rock and, this was his dream for me...'

Speaking of being a rock, I wonder where Paul Burrell is these days

Anyway - thos ecelebrations were shite and no mistaking. Especially as DD was crapping someone out off camera to get them to take part in the 'sponataneous' dancing.

Awful, classless JCLs.
 
Unread 01-05-2008, 09:41 AM
Jez Quigley
 
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by antonin jablonsky
Given time to reflect I'm sure the shine was taken off their reaching their first CL Final by the fact they aren't gonna be playing a foreign team. They've likely slumped into a severe depression now, having given it some contemplation.
Good point.

We've had the BBC (Benfica, Bayern,Chelsea) - a good omen.
 
Unread 01-05-2008, 09:52 AM
signed dc
 
Default

They're trying to become the People's Princess of football clubs.

Interesting article by Richard Williams about their PR people and Avram Grant (who I find hard to dislike, I must admit) here...

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2...sport.comment2
 
Unread 01-05-2008, 10:07 AM
Paul Burrell
 
Default

Everyone knows I support Derby but given their poor form, I've been following the fortunes of Chesea more and more.

I read the other week that I now live in Florida so obviously, I can't pretend to actually follow Chelsea but I can pretend that I watched last night's match. And pretend I will.

Wasn't it something? All that emotion.

Real.

Hard.

Male.

Tears.

I just wanted to scoop up big Frank in my large masculine arms and give him a big cuddle - before pouring both of us a glass of cool white wine and watching a silly old black and white movie with each other on the settee. Perhaps having some fine Belgian chocolates nothwithstanding Frank's training. I'm sure he could sneak a few.

If Diana was alive today she would say, Paul' she would say, 'Paul, just go and have a £#%&!. You and Frank will never happen."

'No sooner said than done Marm' I would say.
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