Phil Jones

Originally Posted by utd99

To be fair, there were periods that Jones looked like he was putting together a nice run, but it never lasted either through injury or some weird melt down. I always viewed his re-ups as us protecting some sort of sell on value; I don’t think Jones has been considered the actual solution to anything for quite a while. I’m not sure Woodward is a fan, particularly since he publicly rebuked him in the stands - still not sure what Jones said -, but I don’t think he’s started since.

I can’t remember him ever being anything other than one of the biggest liabilities we’ve ever had on the pitch.

You know how some players are described as a nightmare to play against? Jones is a nightmare to play with. His team mates must be constantly in a state of unpredictability - what will he do here? Will he play a simple 5 yard pass to me or will he inexplicably get into trouble and then hurtle towards me as I try and sort it out like a clumsy £#%&!ing elephant and try and redeem his error by taking me out with a career threatening tackle?

I honestly thing fans that actually talk kindly about him and really referencing the feeling of relief they feel when he occasionally doesn’t £#%&! things up.

Easily one of the worst players I’ve ever seen.

Dog shit. Bye.

Hard to think of many players that looked so good when they first broke through, to becoming so, so bad as they matured.

I remember seeing him for Blackburn a few times, and he looked incredible for his age. Then when he first came to United he looked like he'd become one of our best ever defenders.

The speed of his decline was staggering, and the length of time he's wallowed in this abyss of failure has been unforgivable. I'm amazed he hasn't voluntarily left, as his career will die at United. Needs to take a leaf out of Jonny Evans' book and £#%&! off to rebuild somewhere else.

https://twitter.com/realbobmortimer/status/1291759130034802689?s=21

Originally Posted by Throw

https://twitter.com/realbobmortimer/...034802689?s=21

Has Bob Mortimer ever done or said anything remotely amusing? Genuine question.

Originally Posted by Sapien

Has Bob Mortimer ever done or said anything remotely amusing? Genuine question.

And if you do get trapped in your flat. Try NOT to get trapped in your flat

Originally Posted by Sapien

Has Bob Mortimer ever done or said anything remotely amusing? Genuine question.

Ooof. Big reveal here. If you don’t get Bob....

Or are you related to Phil?

Originally Posted by utd99

To be fair, there were periods that Jones looked like he was putting together a nice run, but it never lasted either through injury or some weird melt down. I always viewed his re-ups as us protecting some sort of sell on value; I don’t think Jones has been considered the actual solution to anything for quite a while. I’m not sure Woodward is a fan, particularly since he publicly rebuked him in the stands - still not sure what Jones said -, but I don’t think he’s started since.

This, it's time for him to move on or retire because his injury record is a joke, the number of times he's been playing match sharp the last 2 years must be next to none. There was maybe still is a decent player in there, but his body just isn't up to it, he'll probably have a Jonny Evans style mini revival somewhere else but he's cursed here.

Originally Posted by Neo

Hard to think of many players that looked so good when they first broke through, to becoming so, so bad as they matured.

I remember seeing him for Blackburn a few times, and he looked incredible for his age. Then when he first came to United he looked like he'd become one of our best ever defenders.

The speed of his decline was staggering, and the length of time he's wallowed in this abyss of failure has been unforgivable. I'm amazed he hasn't voluntarily left, as his career will die at United. Needs to take a leaf out of Jonny Evans' book and f*** off to rebuild somewhere else.

I don’t think he’ll do well anywhere at this point tbh. That’s not a criticism of his attitude, and I agree that he looked great when he was starting out. I just think he’s spent so much time injured throughout his career that a) his body wont cope with playing regular football and b) he’s not played enough to compensate for ageing with experience. It’s like anything skill-based in the world; sports, music, Countdown - if you’re not practicing regularly then you’re never going to be anything other than average at best.

What were people’s thoughts on Smalling coming here?

Originally Posted by Switching Off

"Phil, can you give us a quote for this press release?"

"I am delighted to have signed a new contract."

"Brilliant, thanks."

Originally Posted by Sapien

Has Bob Mortimer ever done or said anything remotely amusing? Genuine question.

Gone fishing

Bbc iPlayer

Originally Posted by NedKelly

What were people’s thoughts on Smalling coming here?

Generally not over-impressed I think.

Originally Posted by red in cumbria

Generally not over-impressed I think.

That’s why I ask. Remember there being a pretty positive feeling around Jones, even up until lvg? People happy when he came back from injury etc. Can only ever remember people hating smalling except for the first or second season under, again, lvg.

Rooney going to do us the ultimate favour?

Originally Posted by Sapien

Rooney going to do us the ultimate favour?

new contract for Kai already? jumped up little shit

Originally Posted by waynes ear's

new contract for Kai already? jumped up little shit

If he’ll take Jones off our hands because we’re going to put Kai through the academy, what’s not to like?

Any sign of this utter £#%&!ing door stop being loaned/sold/shot out of a cannon?



Look at him ffs, straight out of Carry On Doctor

He's been out for a year. Nobody even asks what with or when he's back. Its bizarre.

I know it wasn't Ole but signing this lump on a FIVE-year deal, a month or so after Ole joined, is insane.

He’s back in training, fancy he’ll be off to Burnley or somewhere in the Champ as soon as it can be sorted.

Good window so far

https://twitter.com/lauriewhitwell/status/1356234344642306049?s=20

ffs, he is absolutely utterly useless. He hasn't been injured, he's likely been trapped in a spiders web in his garden for the past 6 months eating flies to stay alive and probably escaped only when the crows started pecking at his near death body.

Ole needs a good slap at times.

Guber £#%&!ing Jones