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Unread 11-01-2008, 02:52 PM
Brenner
 
Default BDO World Darts Championship

I've not got Sky so don't see much darts nowadays, but when it's on terrestrial telly, I f***in love it

Last night, Wolfie wins a 9 set thriller and The Count gets whitewashed by the Ozzie dark horse Simon Whitlock

The camera zooms in on the thrower's family, who are usually clones of the Biffa Bacon family in Viz, complete with wives with tattoo's, and the giddy Lakeside crowd holding messages up on their "180" cards to get on telly...

Add to that Ray Stubbs & Bobby George having the nobble backstage - it's f***in comedy gold
 
Unread 11-01-2008, 02:54 PM
dodger
 
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I love a nailbiter in the darts. Dave Whitcomb always seemed to in the close ones.
 
Unread 11-01-2008, 02:56 PM
toseeunited
 
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you need to get sky mate for the PDC - sid wadell is THE funniest commentator on any sport!!

i can't get into the bbc one after being spoil by the sky darts...

here's some of sids one liners...

Quote:
Sid Wadell - class!

"I can only sum that up in one word - world-class darts"
"even the crumpet knows that's not good enough "
"they're showing Shakespeare's Othello over on BBC1 but if you want real
drama tonight, get down here to Jollies, Stoke-on-Trent"
"tell Mrs Dellar not to bother putting the chips on, 'cos Keith won't be
home for his tea tonight"
"That's the greatest comeback since Lazarus."
"It's the nearest thing to public execution this side of Saudi Arabia."
"His physiognomy is that of a weeping Madonna."
"Eat your heart out Harold Pinter, we've got drama with a capital D in Essex."
"If we'd had Phil Taylor at Hastings against the Normans, they'd have gone home."
"He's as cool as a prized marrow!"
"Under that heart of stone beat muscles of pure flint."
"You couldn't get more excitement here if Elvis Presley walked in eating a
chip sandwich!"
"He's playing out of his pie crust."
"He looks about as happy as a penguin in a microwave."
"Here's Baxter doing a c**k-a-leekie soup job on Ovens!"
"The pendulum swinging back and forth like a metronome"
"His face is sagging with tension."
"The fans now, with their eyes pierced on the dart board."
"He's been burning the midnight oil at both ends."
"Bristow reasons . . . Bristow quickens ... Aaah,Bristow."
"They won't just have to play outta their skin to beat Phil Taylor.
They'll have to play outta their essence!"
"Darts players are probably a lot fitter than most footballers in overall
body strength."
"There's no one quicker than these two tungsten tossers"
"That was like throwing three pickled onions into a thimble!"
"Keith Deller's not just an underdog, he's an underpuppy!"
"He's about as predictable as a Wasp on speed"
"Look at the man go,its like trying to stop a waterbufflo with a
pea-shooter"
"The atmosphere is so tense , if Elvis walked in ,with a portion of
chips, you could hear the vinegar sizzle"
"Big Cliff Lazarenko's idea of exercise is sitting in a room with the
windows open taking the lid off something cool and fizzy"
"Look at him as he takes his stance, like he has been sculptured,
whereas Bobby George, with his bad back, looks like the Hunchback of Notre
Damme"
"It's like trying to pin down a kangaroo on a trampoline"
"Well as giraffes say, you don't get no leaves unless you stick your
neck out"
"His eyes are bulging like the belly of a hungry chaffinch"
"As they say at the DHSS, we're getting the full benefit here."
"He is as slick as minestrone soup"
"There hasn't been this much excitement since the Romans fed the
Christians to the Lions."
"Phil Taylor's got the consistency of a planet ... and he's in a darts
orbit!"
"The atmosphere is a cross between the Munich Beer Festival and the
Collosium when the Christians were on the menu."
"Jockey Wilson, he comes from the valleys and he's chuffing like a
choo-choo train!"
"He's planting those arrows with the accuracy of a couple of
inter-continental ballistic missiles."
"Bob Anderson ... looking like Lee van Cleef on a bad night!"
"Steve Beaton, he's not Adonis, he's THE donis"
"The players are under so much duress, it's like duressic park out
there!"
"He's like D'Artagnan at the scissor factory."
"This lad has more checkouts than Tescos."
 
Unread 11-01-2008, 02:56 PM
Brenner
 
Default

You're guaranteed a nail-biter when the wolf man's playing Dodger!

My 5 yr old lad loves it when he howls like a wolf as he comes on stage and then Hungry Like The Wolf kicks in by Duran Duran - it's comedy of the highest order
 
Unread 11-01-2008, 02:58 PM
Brenner
 
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by toseeunited
you need to get sky mate for the PDC - sid wadell is THE funniest commentator on any sport!!

i can't get into the bbc one after being spoil by the sky darts...

here's some of sids one liners...
I do miss Sid tbh - he was funny as f***, I remember him from when darts used to always be on the beeb

Some beltin one liners there
 
Unread 11-01-2008, 03:15 PM
Chorlton74
 
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Darryl Fitton to win it.
 
Unread 11-01-2008, 03:25 PM
eddie dane
 
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the quality of darts is bloody awful compared to the PDC.
 
Unread 11-01-2008, 03:29 PM
Brenner
 
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I wouldn't know Eddie, as I say I've not got Sky, but I really enjoy the coverage because it makes me piss myself laughing
 
Unread 11-01-2008, 03:34 PM
The Watcher
 
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Never really followed the Darts, but I ended up watching the PDC Final last year - Taylor vs Barney. f***ing great entertainment, tense as f***!

Brenner, get a chipped cable box man. Sky Sports for f*** all!
 
Unread 11-01-2008, 03:34 PM
eddie dane
 
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brenner
I wouldn't know Eddie, as I say I've not got Sky, but I really enjoy the coverage because it makes me piss myself laughing

i've not got sky either, i watched a lot of the matches in pubs. i agree that there is more comedy to be had in the BDO.
 
Unread 11-01-2008, 03:36 PM
Brenner
 
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Watcher
Never really followed the Darts, but I ended up watching the PDC Final last year - Taylor vs Barney. f***ing great entertainment, tense as f***!

Brenner, get a chipped cable box man. Sky Sports for f*** all!
Quote:
Originally Posted by eddie dane
i've not got sky either, i watched a lot of the matches in pubs. i agree that there is more comedy to be had in the BDO.

I'll meet you both in the Fred Tissue Arms tonight for a pint and we can watch it on the big screen in the vault
 
Unread 11-01-2008, 03:40 PM
signed dc
 
Default

I like the BDO darts, there's something quite earthy about, after the glitz and the glamour of the PDC (which I don't see anymore as I don't have sky). Talking of glamour, has Steve "the Adonis" Beaton defected to the PDC?

Oh, and Ted Hankey moaning last night threatening to retire from the game - didn't he do the same last year? The darting prima-donna.
 
Unread 11-01-2008, 03:42 PM
eddie dane
 
Default

Beaton is in the PDC now, yes. he usually gets knocked out early and then does match commentary. no mullett= no success.
 
Unread 11-01-2008, 03:44 PM
Brenner
 
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by signed dc
Oh, and Ted Hankey moaning last night threatening to retire from the game - didn't he do the same last year? The darting prima-donna.
f***in soft (fat) c*** - he was moaning the other night about someone booing him

The Count Is A c***
 
Unread 11-01-2008, 04:12 PM
dodger
 
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by eddie dane
the quality of darts is bloody awful compared to the PDC.
100 average t'other night. I used to live a coupel of doors down from the BDO HQ. Looks like a corner shop
 
Unread 11-01-2008, 05:23 PM
signed dc
 
Default

apparently Wolfie wanted to bring a real wolf on stage with him this year. He wasn't able to due to some red tape about dangerous animals.
 
Unread 11-01-2008, 05:58 PM
Wafty Crank
 
Default

These...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sid Waddell
"Well as giraffes say, you don't get no leaves unless you stick your neck out"
"Bristow reasons . . . Bristow quickens ... Aaah,Bristow."
"Steve Beaton, he's not Adonis, he's THE donis"
...are simply brilliant.



I watched the PDC one on a stream on t'int. Was a bit hit and miss but overall pretty good. Standard of play was pretty shit this year though, however it was still better than the BDO one.
 
Unread 11-01-2008, 06:50 PM
sweetleftfoot
 
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brenner
I'll meet you both in the Fred Tissue Arms tonight for a pint and we can watch it on the big screen in the vault
I always thought that the Fred Tissue Arms shunned 'big screens'. It'd probably have an old portable on up in the corner of the bar for the football scores and racing results. You'll be telling me next that they're putting up a "WATCH SKY SPORTS HERE" banner up outside, next to a sign saying "2 dine for a fiver".
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