Said and meant

"a developing football nation" = utter shite

"We want to best serve our fans" = we want to be RICH! RICH! beyond our wildest dreeeeeams.....

“It’s only Iran” ….. “Oh £#%&!”

"Inappropriate" = Morally worse than Hitler

“I’ll try” = “I won’t”

A pint = 3 pints
A couple of pints = 4 pints
A few pints = 8 pints

Originally Posted by Dr Stranger

A pint = 3 pints
A couple of pints = 4 pints
A few pints = 8 pints

this is very true, though a couple is more like 5-6

‘I’m alright mate..’ - I’m knackered, life is shit and I’m just trying to get through another day.

"of course it's OK. We can try again later"

Originally Posted by Mr_Ed

"of course it's OK. We can try again later"

= there is only the two of us here today, and it’s a double detonation for you.

Originally Posted by Mr_Ed

"of course it's OK. We can try again later"

I'll have to see what I've got on = there is absolutely no £#%&!ing chance I'm meeting you for a pint

I’call you back = I’m never calling you back

I’m not on the left or the right = I’m a Tory who’s been to the same-sex wedding of someone from work.

classics:

It's not you = It is you

I don't mean to offend but = you are a @#%&!

I am not a racist (or other ist) but = I am a racist

"we're modernising" - We're going to be laying off a lot of workers and making everyone else's job harder

"We're going to have some tough times ahead" - You're going to have tough times. I'm rich and will be just fine.

"It's a vibrant area" - It's a shithole full of anti social fatherless yobs.

"I'm a social media influencer" - I take my clothes off for money

“I hear what you are saying” = “you utter helmet”

With all due respect - I have zero respect for you you @#%&!

I swear down = I am lying.

If anyone touched one of my kids I’d do time = I am a danger to everyone around me.