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Old 09-12-2008, 07:17 AM
denis lawless
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zorg
I say I say I say, a boat was crossing the Atlantic. It hit an iceberg and sank.
any news on the iceberg
 
Old 09-12-2008, 07:25 AM
Zorg
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by denis lawless
any news on the iceberg
I think it died
 
Old 09-12-2008, 07:32 AM
denis lawless
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zorg
I think it died


 
Old 09-12-2008, 08:48 AM
Toilet sniffer V
 
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Who's the coolest guy in a hospital?

The ultrasound guy.
 
Old 09-12-2008, 08:49 AM
Toilet sniffer V
 
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Why did the Word document get arrested?

They thought he was PDF file.
 
Old 09-12-2008, 09:58 AM
hugo
 
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Colin was bragging to his friend, Laura, one day, “You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.”

Tired of his boasting, Laura called his bluff, “OK, Colin how about Tom Cruise?” “Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.”

So Colin and Laura fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise’s door and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts, “Colin! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!”

Although impressed, Colin’s friend is still sceptical. After they leave Cruise’s house, she tells Colin that she thinks Colin’s knowing Cruise was just lucky. “No, no, just name anyone else,” Colin says. “President Bush,” his friend quickly retorts. “Yes,” Colin says, “I know him, let’s fly out to Washington.” And off they go. At the White House, Dubya spots Colin on the tour and motions him and his friend over, saying, “Colin, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let’s have a cup of coffee first and catch up.”

Laura is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds she expresses her doubts to Colin, who again implores her to name anyone else. “The Pope,” she replies. “Sure!” says Colin. “My wife is from Italy and because of her I’ve known the Pope a long time.” So off they fly to Rome.

Colin and Laura are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Colin says, “This will never work. I can’t catch the Pope’s eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I’ll come out on the balcony with the Pope.” And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican.

Sure enough, half an hour later Colin emerges with the Pope on the balcony but by the time Colin returns, he finds that his friend has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his friends side, Colin asks her, “What happened?” His friend looks up and says, “I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, “Who’s that on the balcony with Colin?”
 
Old 09-12-2008, 10:29 AM
Toilet sniffer V
 
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by hugo
Colin was bragging to his friend, Laura, one day, “You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.”

Tired of his boasting, Laura called his bluff, “OK, Colin how about Tom Cruise?” “Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.”

So Colin and Laura fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise’s door and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts, “Colin! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!”

Although impressed, Colin’s friend is still sceptical. After they leave Cruise’s house, she tells Colin that she thinks Colin’s knowing Cruise was just lucky. “No, no, just name anyone else,” Colin says. “President Bush,” his friend quickly retorts. “Yes,” Colin says, “I know him, let’s fly out to Washington.” And off they go. At the White House, Dubya spots Colin on the tour and motions him and his friend over, saying, “Colin, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let’s have a cup of coffee first and catch up.”

Laura is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds she expresses her doubts to Colin, who again implores her to name anyone else. “The Pope,” she replies. “Sure!” says Colin. “My wife is from Italy and because of her I’ve known the Pope a long time.” So off they fly to Rome.

Colin and Laura are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Colin says, “This will never work. I can’t catch the Pope’s eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I’ll come out on the balcony with the Pope.” And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican.

Sure enough, half an hour later Colin emerges with the Pope on the balcony but by the time Colin returns, he finds that his friend has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his friends side, Colin asks her, “What happened?” His friend looks up and says, “I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, “Who’s that on the balcony with Colin?”
Surely if Laura was his friend, she'd have noticed something was up when everywhere she went with Colin every person she saw let on to him. Unless he had only just met Laura in which case she was the last person in the world he had met. Seems an odd thing to say to her, you'd have thought he'd have mentioned she was last on his list wouldn't you?

Also, why would someone go to the Vatican and not know who the Pope was? Again I inspect and the story doesn't stand up to scrutiny. I'm starting to doubt the authenticity of this story. Are you sure it's true? I'll ask Colin myself next time I see him.
 
Old 09-12-2008, 10:54 AM
wiganste
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Toilet sniffer V
Surely if Laura was his friend, she'd have noticed something was up when everywhere she went with Colin every person she saw let on to him. Unless he had only just met Laura in which case she was the last person in the world he had met. Seems an odd thing to say to her, you'd have thought he'd have mentioned she was last on his list wouldn't you?

Also, why would someone go to the Vatican and not know who the Pope was? Again I inspect and the story doesn't stand up to scrutiny. I'm starting to doubt the authenticity of this story. Are you sure it's true? I'll ask Colin myself next time I see him.
At least you know Colin. I've never met him. He sounds like a cunt though, desperate for attention.

I bet none of these people actually like him.
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