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Penalty Shoot Outs: An alternative?
Never been a fan of them myself. Too much pot luck and can reward a weaker team for playing negatively and holding out for the draw and the hit and hope option of progressing in major tournaments.
Personally preferred golden goal, but obviously that didn't work for whatever reason, but last night I came up with an alternative (may have been touted elsewhere, before, I have no idea): Why not use the VAR crew or someone on the touchlines (judge/s) to simply keep track of shots on target (e.g. 1 point for a shot outside the area, 2 for a shot inside the area and 3 for hitting crossbar/post from wherever). Take it to extra-time, sure, but that way the team who created the most chances throughout the game get rewarded and progress to the next stage. Would surely make for far more entertaining viewing and would be a whole lot fairer? |
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After 5 mins of ET, each team has to remove 1 player from the pitch. And the same every 5 mins. They can choose who, it’s entirely up to the manager. Guaranteed a goal then. |
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Still not a perfect solution but more mental than penalties, and who wouldn't love to see De Gea try and cover 25 yards and slide one past another keeper in a 5 second time limit. Edit: Found a video. Looks £#%&!ing brilliant and shite at the same time. 2:40, a Penalty within a penalty shootout |
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I like them, and have developed a brand new strategy to give one team a massive edge.
It’s simple - sensory deprivation. Think it’s generally agreed that the pressure gets to most penalty takers, particularly when they know the whole match hinges on this one penalty. So keep them all in the centre circle blindfolded and with earphones in drowning out any noise. Frog March them to the spot and pull the blindfold off at the last minute, instructing them not to look at the scoreboard or the keepers hand signals. They won’t have a clue how important their penalty actually is, and as a result they’ll convert far more. Simples. |
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Even better. A mini It’s A Knockout style game.
Keepers - who can do the most chin-ups on the crossbar. Defenders - who can boot the ball the highest. Midfielders - who can throw a corner flag the furthest, javelin style. Forwards - diving competition. Managers - bare knuckle fight in the centre circle with the players all stood round. Last man standing. And instead of playing the Joker to get double points for that particular round, you could play the Fellaini, which would half your opponents points for that round. |
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The other benefit would be making the celebrations of the winning team more muted and therefore more respectful. |
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Put two David de Gea’s in goal for both teams. Obviously this will mean cloning him which is a entirely different issue which I can’t go into here.
Then see which one can dive out of the way of each penalty in the most creative, artistic way. Points to be award for: Style Panache Gormless looking face Pointing one way then diving the other Landing Use of space. A panel of judges will sit pitchside with score cards. After the result the losing De Gea is euthanised before a new one is produced for the next fixture |
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And here I was thinking we'd all grown up all together, somewhat matured as a group and individually since the birth of Fred (what was it, 15 years ago or something?), and could discuss the matter with the seriousness it deserves. How to improve the sport in general and as a spectacle, etc
Sedatives and blindfolds and a javelin competition FFS |
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