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Unread 20-08-2019, 11:35 AM
BouncyCheetah
 
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He's the worst player I've ever seen and is getting worse by the day.

He barely has the strength to kick a football. Just standing up is about the limit of his ability. He can't even run.

I find it incredible that someone who is physically incapable of playing the game has an enormous contract with a team like United.

I can't even consider him as a footballer. He's just an anomaly. Some bizarre statistical error, whereby someone blatantly not meant to be there has slipped through the cracks and ended up a footballer through fortune alone.
 
Unread 20-08-2019, 12:02 PM
Buck
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BouncyCheetah
He's the worst player I've ever seen and is getting worse by the day.

He barely has the strength to kick a football. Just standing up is about the limit of his ability. He can't even run.

I find it incredible that someone who is physically incapable of playing the game has an enormous contract with a team like United.

I can't even consider him as a footballer. He's just an anomaly. Some bizarre statistical error, whereby someone blatantly not meant to be there has slipped through the cracks and ended up a footballer through fortune alone.
Yep those World Cup, European Championship, Champions League and FA Cup medals were through fortune alone. He scored in two of those finals, set up a last minute equaliser in another and named Man of the Match in another big final but that's just a statistical error.
 
Unread 20-08-2019, 12:04 PM
dragflick
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BouncyCheetah
He's the worst player I've ever seen and is getting worse by the day.

He barely has the strength to kick a football. Just standing up is about the limit of his ability. He can't even run.

I find it incredible that someone who is physically incapable of playing the game has an enormous contract with a team like United.

I can't even consider him as a footballer. He's just an anomaly. Some bizarre statistical error, whereby someone blatantly not meant to be there has slipped through the cracks and ended up a footballer through fortune alone.


There's OTT and then there's that.
 
Unread 20-08-2019, 12:11 PM
shenwen
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dragflick


There's OTT and then there's that.


"the worst player I've ever seen "
"barely has the strength to kick a football"
"physically incapable of playing the game"



Classic bouncycheetahs
 
Unread 20-08-2019, 12:22 PM
windy waffles
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BouncyCheetah
He's the worst player I've ever seen and is getting worse by the day.

He barely has the strength to kick a football. Just standing up is about the limit of his ability. He can't even run.

I find it incredible that someone who is physically incapable of playing the game has an enormous contract with a team like United.

I can't even consider him as a footballer. He's just an anomaly. Some bizarre statistical error, whereby someone blatantly not meant to be there has slipped through the cracks and ended up a footballer through fortune alone.
Did he hug your wife or something?

Crikey.
 
Unread 20-08-2019, 12:38 PM
Clownbones
 
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Bouncy cheetahs are idiots.
 
Unread 20-08-2019, 12:48 PM
Vedder
 
Thumbs down

Quote:
Originally Posted by BouncyCheetah
He's the worst player I've ever seen and is getting worse by the day.

He barely has the strength to kick a football. Just standing up is about the limit of his ability. He can't even run.

I find it incredible that someone who is physically incapable of playing the game has an enormous contract with a team like United.

I can't even consider him as a footballer. He's just an anomaly. Some bizarre statistical error, whereby someone blatantly not meant to be there has slipped through the cracks and ended up a footballer through fortune alone.
 
Unread 20-08-2019, 01:09 PM
browser
 
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BouncyCheetah
He's the worst player I've ever seen and is getting worse by the day.

He barely has the strength to kick a football. Just standing up is about the limit of his ability. He can't even run.

I find it incredible that someone who is physically incapable of playing the game has an enormous contract with a team like United.

I can't even consider him as a footballer. He's just an anomaly. Some bizarre statistical error, whereby someone blatantly not meant to be there has slipped through the cracks and ended up a footballer through fortune alone.
Forgot to change logins Dunk
 
Unread 20-08-2019, 03:09 PM
dunk
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by browser
Forgot to change logins Dunk
Even I wouldn’t go that far tbf.

Was utterly pointless last night though.
 
Unread 20-08-2019, 03:40 PM
Ranier Wolfcastle
 
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For United he has been a terrible signing, and was again terrible last night. Has there ever been a more overrated player for us?
 
Unread 20-08-2019, 04:22 PM
BouncyCheetah
 
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If you were to pull anyone out of the crowd at random, regardless of age, sex, gender or physical ability and put them on in place of Mata, not a single one of them could do any worse.

A guy on crutches would be the same. A woman in a wheelchair, the same. A new born baby, the same. A ninety nine year old man, exactly the same.

I reckon that if you managed to pluck out a man of reasonable age, they'd have a significantly greater chance of effecting the game positively than Mata, if all they did was toe-punt the ball towards the opposition goal.
 
Unread 20-08-2019, 04:27 PM
ryanMUFC
 
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Must be the only premiership footballer that has received a new contract on the merit of being a nice guy.

If he’s slow and weak last season then surely he’s slow and weak this season..

Nothing defeats the object more of playing a high press and then putting him on.
 
Unread 20-08-2019, 04:37 PM
red in cumbria
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BouncyCheetah
He's the worst player I've ever seen and is getting worse by the day
Just going on last night's game, this is only explainable through Lingard being so anonymous you don't even notice him.
 
Unread 20-08-2019, 04:49 PM
BouncyCheetah
 
Thumbs up

Quote:
Originally Posted by red in cumbria
Just going on last night's game, this is only explainable through Lingard being so anonymous you don't even notice him.


Lingard is dreadful, but he's on another level entirely to Mata. Jesse is somewhere between Championship level and up to about ninth in the PL.

Mata would struggle in the amateur game.

A good five a side league, where he can focus on his technique would be a good fit, but not anywhere rough where they will push him around. Maybe somewhere like Brighton.
 
Unread 20-08-2019, 04:56 PM
Buck
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BouncyCheetah


Lingard is dreadful, but he's on another level entirely to Mata. Jesse is somewhere between Championship level and up to about ninth in the PL.

Mata would struggle in the amateur game.

A good five a side league, where he can focus on his technique would be a good fit, but not anywhere rough where they will push him around. Maybe somewhere like Brighton.
 
Unread 20-08-2019, 05:50 PM
S/Side.Red
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by windy waffles
Did he hug your wife or something?

Crikey.


Mata hate gone into overdrive tbh.
 
Unread 20-08-2019, 06:01 PM
Vetch
 
Lightbulb

Bit like Choccy at the end of his time.

Only kept him on for Captain's Log.
 
Unread 21-08-2019, 07:04 AM
windy waffles
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vetch
Bit like Choccy at the end of his time.

Only kept him on for Captain's Log.
Wasnt that Bruce?
 
Unread 21-08-2019, 07:49 AM
Lok
 
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I find it impossible to hate him.

He's a good option against teams were we are going to have a high % of possession and need to break teams down. We don't really have anyone else who can keep the ball and control the tempo like he does.

He doesn't fit into the current system of high press, it exposes all of his weaknesses.

It's baffling that he got a new contract but he's the least of our worries as he'll sit on the bench without moaning and I'd imagine is good for morale.
 
Unread 21-08-2019, 01:05 PM
Ranier Wolfcastle
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lok
I find it impossible to hate him.

He's a good option against teams were we are going to have a high % of possession and need to break teams down. We don't really have anyone else who can keep the ball and control the tempo like he does.

He doesn't fit into the current system of high press, it exposes all of his weaknesses.

It's baffling that he got a new contract but he's the least of our worries as he'll sit on the bench without moaning and I'd imagine is good for morale.
The problem is against he neither kept the ball nor broke them down, and that is not an exception for him.
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