United Forum
Go Back   United Forum > Everything else > Science & Technology
Reply
 
Unread 05-09-2018, 07:42 PM
My Name is Keith
 
Default Hear me out - Official New Invention

Right, the roads we drive on are shit - lumpy, pot holed, forever being dug up, badly drained etc etc

Hey presto, I present the framed road (c)

Basically, a steel frame is sunk where the road currently is on top of which are tarmac panels that connect to each other like jigsaws. Behold below is a void from where service ducts, drainage and other assorted technical wizardry can be kept.

Services are sunk by lifting the panel and re placing rather than long dig delays. Panels damaged through wear and tear can be replaced as necessary. The tarmac platform can be prepared with tracks for trams/trains etc

The down side is the cost but it can be done gradually - city centres first and then onto large towns. One day, even Colne will have it.

Basically a suspended ceiling in reverse.

I will repay good rep now in cash later when I’m a billionaire.

[stands for applause]
 
Unread 05-09-2018, 07:46 PM
Buck
 
Default

shut up
 
Unread 05-09-2018, 07:46 PM
irk
 
Default

And what happens when a road sweeper hoovers the bits up? Are you going to root through the bag to retrieve them?
 
Unread 05-09-2018, 07:50 PM
Child of Darkness
 
Default

How big are th panels and what’s this stop me knicking them when I want a new drive ?
 
Unread 05-09-2018, 07:52 PM
no fun
 
Default

This could be a goer.....however;

Wouldn’t be accepted in Liverpool, would be the end of compo claims

One of the great pleasures of driving is going through puddles and splashing cunts....I once drenched a cunt in a city shirt in Glossop....will these panels have a camber to facilitate puddles?

Cycle lanes?....ok it’s mainly geography teachers and cunts from Chorlton who use them, but have you factored in the additional costs?


Other than that keith.....I will invest £150 for a 20% share

Last edited by no fun; 05-09-2018 at 08:00 PM.
 
Unread 05-09-2018, 07:54 PM
goldfinger II
 
Thumbs up

Brilliant!


Quote:
Originally Posted by My Name is Keith
Right, the roads we drive on are shit - lumpy, pot holed, forever being dug up, badly drained etc etc

Hey presto, I present the framed road (c)

Basically, a steel frame is sunk where the road currently is on top of which are tarmac panels that connect to each other like jigsaws. Behold below is a void from where service ducts, drainage and other assorted technical wizardry can be kept.

Services are sunk by lifting the panel and re placing rather than long dig delays. Panels damaged through wear and tear can be replaced as necessary. The tarmac platform can be prepared with tracks for trams/trains etc

The down side is the cost but it can be done gradually - city centres first and then onto large towns. One day, even Colne will have it.

Basically a suspended ceiling in reverse.

I will repay good rep now in cash later when I’m a billionaire.

[stands for applause]
 
Unread 05-09-2018, 07:59 PM
Lazlo Panaflex
 
Default

you say "the downside is cost"

the cost is the only side.

I assume you have a fiscal plan that reflects cost saving over a longer period?
 
Unread 05-09-2018, 08:01 PM
My Name is Keith
 
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Child of Darkness
How big are th panels and what’s this stop me knicking them when I want a new drive ?
Large scale - 20sqft touch - too big to lift out plus they’d be connected together and connected to the frame.

We still use Victorian roads ffs. Get with the programme people!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lazlo Panaflex
you say "the downside is cost"

the cost is the only side.

I assume you have a fiscal plan that reflects cost saving over a longer period?
Huge upfront investment but huge long terms efficiencies - paid for via council tax and utility companies levy. They’re responsible for fucking up the road and it will hugely reduce their costs.

Obvs gets rolled out over a long period. Individual panel can have electric car charging points inserted as we move that forward.

Listen guys, I’m on fucking fire.
 
Unread 05-09-2018, 08:05 PM
no fun
 
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by My Name is Keith
Large scale - 20sqft touch - too big to lift out plus they’d be connected together and connected to the frame.

We still use Victorian roads ffs. Get with the programme people!
Will they be split into two panels, left and right?

If your prototype is one solid panel, replacement would cause traffic chaos, with no option of temporary lights
 
Unread 05-09-2018, 08:10 PM
Harry Flashman
 
Default

https://goo.gl/images/zRc7iC

Like this
Reply
Thread Tools
Similar Threads for: Hear me out - Official New Invention
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
The invention of science AnthonyMartial TV / Film / Books / Arts 3 25-02-2017 07:05 PM
invention ideas Fuzzy Dunlop Off Topic 289 07-03-2012 05:16 PM
The Invention of Lying... Sullingtons Off Topic 11 29-09-2010 02:45 AM
great invention ideas when you were a kid florentino ariza Off Topic 14 16-07-2010 03:47 PM
Mankind's Greatest Ever Invention? CamelToe Off Topic 26 06-01-2007 09:23 PM
All times are GMT. The time now is 09:53 AM.

Copyright ©2006 - 2018 utdforum.com. This site is in no way affiliated to Manchester United Football Club.