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Unread 20-10-2014, 04:29 PM
signed dc
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaffo
"Imagine watching a p*** star having hot, rough, yet passionate but dominating sex to a breathless, wailing lover which, in this case, comes in the shape of a mixing desk."

I was just saying that to my mum the other day
Can't believe they've plagiarised your DJ CV pretty much word for word
 
Unread 20-10-2014, 04:34 PM
jaffo
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by signed dc
Can't believe they've plagiarised your DJ CV pretty much word for word
This bit certainly rang true for me:

"He is literally mobbed upon his arrival and departure from each gig, with fans eager to speak to their idol, or have their photograph taken with him"
 
Unread 20-10-2014, 04:47 PM
no fun
 
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Cunt

Puts records on a turntable and drugged up fucking idiots worship him like he's fucking Dylan

Cunt
 
Unread 20-10-2014, 04:53 PM
forzagarza
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by no fun
Cunt

Puts records on a turntable and drugged up fucking idiots worship him like he's fucking Dylan

Cunt


It's 2014
 
Unread 20-10-2014, 04:55 PM
no fun
 
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by forzagarza
It's 2014
Couldn't give a fuck

Do you applaud the projectionist at the cinema ?

Do you fuck

Dense cunts
 
Unread 20-10-2014, 05:00 PM
forzagarza
 
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by no fun
Couldn't give a fuck

Do you applaud the projectionist at the cinema ?

Do you fuck

Dense cunts
No, it's 2014 as in Andy Whtby isn't relevant (neither is Bob Dylan)


Anyway you refusing to dance obviously reduced the possible mates available to you. Look what you've ended up with. If you had gone out wearing a sequined jumpsuit and danced like a mother fucker then you might have at least pulled a methodist
 
Unread 20-10-2014, 05:02 PM
Stakker
 
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MonkeyOnMyBack
The anonymous writer has a lot of love for this Whitby chap. It might be his Mum.



http://ibizaclubbing-guide.skiddleti...6&eid=11920892
Yeah, this was written in 2007. I've read some bullshit in my time but this is right up there with the best.
 
Unread 20-10-2014, 05:03 PM
Smiling Bastard
 
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Quote:
Mobile phone-cum-digital cameras are designed for such occasions as his devotees put one arm around him and pose with their hero as the other arm acts as a remote-controlled tri-pod for the self-portrait.
= people take selfies with him.
 
Unread 20-10-2014, 05:07 PM
Stakker
 
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by no fun
Cunt

Puts records on a turntable and drugged up fucking idiots worship him like he's fucking Dylan

Cunt
If I remember correctly this write up was a pastiche of the blurb on Andy Whitby's own website, with the more OTT paragraphs added later for the lols.

This was the original.

Quote:
Andy Whitby is not just a hard house DJ, he is an experience.

He is a state of mind.

He is the transporter of minds and souls to an amazing frantic paradise that, while leaving you knackered, strangely also leaves you feeling re-invigorated.

At 6ft tall and broad-shouldered, with his trademark shaved head, a chunky ostentatious chain around his neck, and immaculate dress sense (if itís not designer, it doesnít go anywhere near him) he makes an imposing figure who commands respect.

To watch him DJ is part of the Whitby experience. Cocky? Perhaps, but certainly not arrogant, Whitby is now in control of the minds and bodies of his audience.

Andy Whitby is the standard that so many more strive for. There are a plethora of CD compilations that he has mixed but listening to one of these is like trying to view a fine piece of art in a darkened room. You need to see him live to really appreciate the full and overwhelming experience that is The Saviour of Hard-Dance.

He is young.

He is good looking.

He is stone cold sober.

He is professional. He is addictive. And he is damn good.

In my opinion he is the best.
Absolute cock-knocker.
 
Unread 20-10-2014, 07:57 PM
signed dc
 
Default

You'd think he'd get a better dj name if he's so brilliant, Andy Whitby reeks of mobile discos, with the crap traffic light lights at the front.
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