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To complete the squad you need stable and courageous - Robson and Bruce going straight in. Both would take bullets for the op 5th man Denis Irwin. 100pc an unreal sniper up there with Simo hayha and won't grumble at doing all cooking duties |
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That’s a great unit. Double tap to the chest, slot an Arab goat herder before he can bubble you and you’re going to need some humour and bats. Mat Pat and Jason Park would be ace. Spot on re Irwin too. He’s the guy who shoots a Somali pirate from 12 miles away at night then spends the flight back to Brize Norton via Ramstein looking at the Argos catalogue for a new lawn mower for the summer. You should work in military recruitment mate. Quote:
He got wound up by Dennis Wise ffs. Let’s say that there’s a tense stand off with some Serbian warlords and Bonkerslav Lunaticovic is chatting with Butty in front of the world media, smiles and cheekily punches the inside of his thigh - causing Butty to lose it?? Think man, think. Takes years to build a rep and seconds to lose it. Butt? Controversial...nor even including his gingerness. 2 minutes in Latin America and he will be whining about not having brought enough Factor 10. |
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Edwin Van Der Sar - Troop leader.
Calm heads prevail. Probably a good map reader. Will be able to give the smaller lads a peggy up over any compound walls they encounter. Eric Cantona Call upon his experience of conducting national service, and hope he doesn't shown that famous French trait if the shit hits the fan David Beckham Unique ability to bend bullets round walls, and run all day without getting tired. Also useful for enticing local national females. Angel Di Maria Cause there has to be a useless £#%&!er in every group. Most likely a snorer and a complete drain on the other blokes morale. A complete waste of rations. |
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Ester's with some great picks. Naturally Robbo would be my number one but was put off by his injury record. Bruce though, Great shout. |
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current squad:
tony v - our only genuinely tough player and already has the 1,000 yard stare. matic - calm, merciless, ridiculously underrated by you @#%&!s. would kill without blinking. herrera - snide cheerleader. closest thing to howling mad murdock we have. pereira - just needs a chance to prove himself. we could call this crack team "the midfield we should be playing, mou, you @#%&!". it's not very catchy, though. all-time: hughes - £#%&!ing warhorse. vidic - would volunteer for a suicide mission and smile innocently after every throat he slit. stick up a pic of fernando torres down at the shooting range for a perfect 100. mcgrath - would still be going when everyone else was dead and would win on his own, too. if they blew his legs off, he would stump them to death. robson - worth the injury risk. hard as nails and with all the skills required. or we could drop fletch from a helicopter as a chemical attack. |
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current
degea, martial, young and valencia. young and valencia die days away from retirement leaving it to martial and degea to finish the mission. at first they don't get on at all but by the end of the mission they grow a strong bond. all time: kevin moran martin buchan roy keane eric cantona |
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Funny you should mention this - just read this report on the BBC website.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/46405477 I bet our bunch of shit@#%&!s wouldn't be able to hack spending a couple of days with the £#%&!ing Salvation Army. |
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mata would be the little gay fella who could seduce the straightest of terrorists. Herrera could fit through ventilation shafts due to his complete lack of shoulders. And if he died in there, would anyone care? lindelof would be the ultimate plastic hard man. Complete with designer sleeves. Just don't expect anything from him. lingard would annoy and embarrass everyone until they killed themselves. |
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