Erling Haaland - Agent Mahrez

Originally Posted by Dr Stranger

It was clearly a joke, mate. Lighten up.

I'm sorry. I take everything far too seriously. it's a curse.

Originally Posted by jem

I'm sorry. I take everything far too seriously. it's a curse.

It’s what makes you a forum stalwart

Originally Posted by Dr Stranger

It’s what makes you a forum stalwart

wait... what? no. it was a joke. I don't take anything seriously.

except biscuits.

Originally Posted by jem

wait... what? no. it was a joke. I don't take anything seriously.

except biscuits.

Fair 👍

I was waiting for Pop to back up my sentiment 👍

Originally Posted by Dr Stranger

I was waiting for Pop to back up my sentiment 👍

And £#%&! him again

Originally Posted by Jammy Dodger

Strange signing as he doesn’t suit the way guardiola plays. Suspect he won’t be happy with guardiola come the end of the season.

Originally Posted by AK14

Agree.

Ultimately he’ll flop imo.

Some proper wishful thinking here.

A scarecrow could probably score 10 goals up front for City, given the amount of chances they make. He’s going to run in loads.

Originally Posted by Sparky***

Some proper wishful thinking here.

A scarecrow could probably score 10 goals up front for City, given the amount of chances they make. He’s going to run in loads.

This. Him and that big lanky #@&%! at Liverpool are going to smash it. They’re going into sides that create a shit tonne of chances and everyone knows what they’re doing. Frankly, they’re not really our concern. We’re not anywhere near them right now and they’re two players we were never going to get.

Just gotta do us and look to improve.

Originally Posted by Dr Stranger

Harsh on Haaland etc

Haaland rejected him tbf....

He'll be like Ruud was for us. The only hope is Guardiola tries to break him and make him relearn everything he knows about football or some nonsense.

Originally Posted by armchair

He'll be like Ruud was for us. The only hope is Guardiola tries to break him and make him relearn everything he knows about football or some nonsense.

It's a bit like Grealish - he's going from most fouled player to someone who needs to learn that citeh aren't about that and want to keep the ball moving.

A lot of Haaland's goals look to be from break away passes rather than from the sort of measured approach the berts seem to play. Plenty of time for the recent injuries to reoccur too.

Originally Posted by armchair

He'll be like Ruud was for us. The only hope is Guardiola tries to break him and make him relearn everything he knows about football or some nonsense.

Maybe he'll cause ructions with Foden or some @#%&!.

Probably not though

Originally Posted by Dr Stranger

This. Him and that big lanky #@&%! at Liverpool are going to smash it. They’re going into sides that create a shit tonne of chances and everyone knows what they’re doing. Frankly, they’re not really our concern. We’re not anywhere near them right now and they’re two players we were never going to get.

Just gotta do us and look to improve.

Exactly. Raheem sterling who needs about 5 sitters to score 1 goal manages about 20 goals for them every £#%&!ing season. Haaland will be up there with Kane and Salah competing for the golden boot.

It's just what we have to deal with. They're in the luxury position now of adding cherries to their cake.

Originally Posted by Sparky***

Exactly. Raheem sterling who needs about 5 sitters to score 1 goal manages about 20 goals for them every £#%&!ing season. Haaland will be up there with Kane and Salah competing for the golden boot.

It's just what we have to deal with. They're in the luxury position now of adding cherries to their cake.

Yep… and ours has gone soggy in the middle and we’re having to start again to expand on your cakey metaphor.

He'll score £#%&!ing loads for them.

€128m release clause in his contract that can be triggered in 2025.

Maybe he won't be there for the long haul then. Though it'll probably depend on how much City bung him under the table.

Originally Posted by Pop

€128m release clause in his contract that can be triggered in 2025.

Maybe he won't be there for the long haul then. Though it'll probably depend on how much City bung him under the table.

since the abu dhabi lot took over they've not lost a single player who was at their peak. I doubt haaland will be in any rush to leave

Another bert lie unpicked about Haaland being a lifelong bluenose. Got rid of the kit as soon as his dad left:

I see they unveiled lurch yesterday, Still had to somehow bring the top of conversation round to United

Also he's suddenly changed his football idols from Zlatan and Ronaldo, which he was quoted as saying when he was at Dortmund to "aguero" now he's at City.

Far be from me to urinate in my pants before the seasons started but I do fear this will be Knockers and my nightmare come true this year.

We say the same thing most years but I genuinely can’t see anyone challenging them for the league or the CL. The rest is within their grasp too.