What's the single best thing you ever did on a football pitch?

When I was in my late twenties, I played a 5 a side game with some mental health patients and a few nurses.

A couple of the nurses were half decent footballers, and they couldn't get past me! One of them actually uttered 'ffs' after about his 5th try.

A real defensive wizard.

Other than that: absolutely nothing, ever. Not even a decent touch or pass and certainly no goals.

Anyone scored a volley? Threaded a pass worthy of Paul Scholes? How about a 25 yarder?

I'll pick a winner.

Scored on the half volley from just outside the box over 20 years ago for the U13’s.

Ruptured my cruciate chasing back after I misplaced a pass playing 6-a-side 10 years ago

The end.

slide tackle, went through dog shit

Originally Posted by AK14

Scored on the half volley from just outside the box over 20 years ago for the U13’s.

Ruptured my cruciate chasing back after I misplaced a pass playing 6-a-side 10 years ago

The end.

You must have been quite the talent to manage that. We don't need your life story thanks to the week knee revelation, but good for you.

Age will be taken into account in the final analysis.

Originally Posted by Drexl

slide tackle, went through dog shit

Slide tackle. Got my knee sliced up by whatever the £#%&! was in the ground

Ears

I've done worse gardening ffs.
Got off of the talent thread pls.

Originally Posted by Cream

Ears

I've done worse gardening ffs.

I bet you have

Originally Posted by Cream

Ears

I've done worse gardening ffs.
Got off of the talent thread pls.

Bit harsh, but I guess that means in the sub category: slide tackle, I'm winning

it was sloppy dog poo, as well, not the old-school white crumbly stuff

I set up the stage for the 2005 FA cup presentation.
It had started back in Manchester a few days before.
Had gone to meet ***** at a location in town, it was at the height of the Glazer protests, had acquired the flag that was too be put inside the FA Cup as United lifted it.
{ United Not for $ale}

Back down in Hampshire managed too blag r 'kid on the weekend away, representative of her majesty's armed £#%&! OFF.....He'd not been in for 3 years and had Liam Gallagher hair....

Had to blag he was just back from n Ireland on the minibus, but as the second senior guy and two United fans we headed in the mini bus up to Cardiff 15 odd new Recruits, a long haired brother and a confused Sgt.

Plotted up in Cardiff FC changing rooms, toured the millennium and jibbed most corridors and changing rooms....given our lanyard and passes...

Had a little practice of running on with the stage, the cup being built on the stand and then we were knocked off for the night...."don't go.wild, big day tmrw"

We went wild. Cashed in about 20 lanyards with sob stories, so lads could get in the next day, got back to our camp cot in some random changing rooms about 3am, it was united ALL OVER CARDIFF the night before..

Game was MINGING, arsenal with USA flags, glazer masks, our end was absolutely packed with Jibbers in 'access all areas lanyards"
We should have win in normal time.
Them pens..

Was right by Ronaldo when he started crying..

I had the flag and also Plan B.

Wasn't for putting a united flag inside the FA cup after that so we pulled out a load of glass crush stink bombs. Not for sale. This was the level none internet...

Smashed them a over the stage and traipsed off.

https://youtu.be/K7CJwCXfg00

I was disciplined at work, my brother didn't come back .on the minibus and told my boss too £#%&! off.
I did 3.5 weeks of £#%&!ing punishment for him and we'd achieved £#%&! all.

NRAT - Theres footage of arsenal players turning up their noses because the FA cup Stunk.

Scored 4 on a school debut.

Scored an absolute worldy in a cup game to equalise late on. None of my team mates celebrated because it meant an 8 hour round trip for the replay.

Which we lost.

Scored a beautiful curling 40 yard screamer from the right wing akin to that Roberto Carlos free kick when I was about 13 I think

It was a boys against girls game at school. She was ROOTED to the spot

5-a- side with work mates at Ten Acres Lane, Newton Heath about 20 years ago. I pushed up through the middle. Chipped it out low to the right where a mate was. He was facing towards the touchline but one touch backheeled it right into the spot I’d run into past the last man. I hit the sweetest volley ever, top left corner. Celebrated like Tardelli in the 1982 World Cup final

Scored 7 against Stockton Heath, but that’s not a single thing, so not that.

After we’d moved over here, and I’d been converted into a midfielder (think less kamikaze Robbo) , school was playing a team with someone who was on Liverpool’s books, and I was asked to go man to man on him (not in the Reynhard Singara way). 2-2 going into the final minutes, and the ball broke to me in heavily congested circumstances just outside the box, after much wriggling and trying to create some space , some space opened up, and I whipped it past the keeper.

not the best thing, but best I have on film

Originally Posted by browser

not the best thing, but best I have on film

10 goals in a Scottish cup match. Under 12s

plenty screamers throughout life but that’s the stand out artefact.
Still playing a good level too now at 37 next month

Originally Posted by browser

not the best thing, but best I have on film

This is impressive

Mine?

32, peak fitness and playing for an Irish pub team in Dusseldorf in a pretty high standard league at centre back.

2 speedy Turkish lads had been causing trouble, long ball and one of them was on it.

I beat him to the ball and with my front facing our goal, I lobbed the ball over my head, spun, controlled it, feinted past the other Turkish lad and played a good ball out.

At the end of the game, 2 blokes came up to me and said I was really good.

Probably my footballing peak.

Originally Posted by browser

not the best thing, but best I have on film

Ace. You appear to have clipped the video to spare us the full celebration though, a Nani style somersault?

Scored a goal not too different from Van Nistelrooys against Fulham against Chaddy end as a kid. Motm.

Originally Posted by thatsfuctit

Ace. You appear to have clipped the video to spare us the full celebration though, a Nani style somersault?

yep, followed by a Robbie Keane forward roll and pistols