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Unread 13-11-2009, 11:50 AM
fred tissue
Default Football transfer rumours: 聲gel Di Mar燰 to Manchester City?

Today's rumours are out on their ear

Take That's kind-of-reunion, a sniff of electoral success for Labour, the British pet-shop owner who tried to smuggle 1,000 spiders out of Brazil in terms of news, there's any number of things to get excited about on this damp, dank Friday morning. Yet despite it all the British press's enthusiasm for transfer tittle-tattle remains, unlike the warming effect of the sun's rays and George Hamilton's career prospects, undimmed. And for that, the Mill is profoundly grateful.

And so we're just going to launch ourselves straight into it, without further ado. For the Mill hates further ado even more than Dion Dublin hates Robbie Savage, of which more later.

To Germany, where Schalke's captain Marcelo Bordon has given up on keeping goalkeeper Manuel Neuer at the club in the face of interest from Manchester United and Bayern Munich. "Maybe it would be better if he were to leave because we could get a hell of a lot of money for him," he told Bild. While on their scouting trips to Germany, United and Chelsea, Liverpool and Manchester City, by all accounts (well, the one in the Mail) have been sniffing around Werder Bremen's English-mothered striker Aaron Hunt, whose contract expires in the summer. "There is interest from Germany and abroad," says his agent, Karlheinz Forster. "From big clubs. We are not talking about mediocre clubs."

Also on Manchester City's shopping list is the Benfica forward 聲gel Di Mar燰, touted in the press as Robinho's likely replacement and just valued by the Portuguese side at 36m. Another player burdened by a surprisingly large price tag this morning is Lucas Leiva, the Liverpool midfielder wanted by a number of "top European sides" who have all been told that the Brazilian will cost them 14m (and the manager's job once everyone realises exactly what he's spent 14m on).

On a rapidly descending asking-price scale, Blackburn are readying a 4m bid for Swedish midfielder Rasmus Elm, who joined AZ Alkmaar for that sum just a few months ago after turning down Everton, Fulham are poised with a 3m offer for Palermo's Brazilian goalkeeper Rubinho, West Bromwich Albion are to stump up 2.5m for Leicester striker Matty Fryatt, and Wolves are lining up a 1.5m bid for Gillingham striker Simeon Jackson.

Waking up cold, unshaven and smelling of stale urine this morning before bathing in a pool of his own warm, fresh tears is Darius Vassell, who has been evicted from his hotel after his Turkish club, Ankaragucu, failed to pay his bills. "I wonder if I should just go home," he sobbed. Back in his native city, Birmingham are "tracking" Sevilla's Arouna Kon and the Real Betis midfielder Achille Emana with the aid of some craftily-positioned GPS devices and a few friends at CTU.

Greg Dyke has told the Hounslow and Brentford Times that Peterborough are after the Brentford manager Andy Scott. "My understanding is they are working through a shortlist of four candidates," he revealed.

Chelsea are blaming the FA for Frank Lampard's thigh injury because the private plane chartered to carry the England team to Doha for Saturday's Brazil friendly wasn't luxurious enough. It was "designed for short-haul only", the seats "barely reclined" and "several players complained of cramp or muscle pain", reports the Sun.

Former footballer turned Hollywood menacing-snarl-go-to-guy Vinnie Jones has revealed that "he considered suicide after biting a reporter on the nose" and that he was only barked out of the idea by his pet dog Tessie. In an unrelated development, Arsenal's 21-year-old striker Nicklas Bendtner is going out with Baroness Caroline Luel-Brockdorff, a 34-year-old Danish royal with two children and a 400m fortune.

New dad Wayne Rooney says "I still haven't changed a nappy" and has ruled out performing a Bebeto-style swinging-crib goal celebration should he score against Brazil tomorrow. "It looks a bit cheesy to me, to be honest."

And in the Mirror Robbie Savage, who in a show of utter idiocy missed Derby's flight to Holland for a friendly against Den Haag after turning up at the airport with his wife's passport, tells of his astonishment that striker-turned-defender-turned-TV-pundit Dion Dublin told TV viewers how much he didn't like the blonde-haired fop (a fact the vicious headbutt he delivered upon the then-Birmingham City midfielder in 2003 had broadly hinted at). "It's mystifying how he's come to that conclusion when he's never even been for a pint with me or met me socially." Incredible, yet somehow millions of others have managed it.

Simon Burnton

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