United Forum
Go Back   United Forum > Everything else > Off Topic
Reply
 
Unread 16-12-2017, 07:23 PM
otbarney
 
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by no fun
Not very often we have a major barney, but she’s gone fucking radio at me this afternoon

Firstly I opposed her intention to buy a real xmas tree due to the fact for the past few years she’s had this fake one that’s fine

But oh no, she wants a fucking real one, and what her bastard ladyship wants her bastard ladyship gets

So she goes out, leaving me with instructions to buy a tree that about 5,5 ft tall

I purchase said item, and put it in the living room

In she comes

“ that’s not 5ft 6”

The tape measure proves otherwise...it’s 5ft 8

“ I meant 5ft6 without the Top bit that the fairy goes on, not 5ft6 to the very top....it’s too small you fucking idiot”*

A row ensued

Apparently I’ve ruined xmas, on purpose

* something she’s never said to me before
The woman must be a fuckin Saint to put up with you.
 
Unread 16-12-2017, 07:25 PM
no fun
 
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by otbarney
The woman must be a fuckin Saint to put up with you.
Get fucked, I purchased exactly what she asked for and the cunt has a thrombie, the fucking gypsy bastard
 
Unread 16-12-2017, 07:50 PM
Throw
 
Default

Fake trees are for scrubbers. End of.
 
Unread 16-12-2017, 08:06 PM
no fun
 
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Throw
Fake trees are for scrubbers. End of.
Precisely
 
Unread 16-12-2017, 08:12 PM
silv
 
Default

We've got a fake one. Won't happen again

Smelt a beautiful real one the other day and it took me back

Love Christmas me!
 
Unread 13-03-2018, 01:28 PM
no fun
 
Default

This story can be confirmed by Jaffo who had the pleasure of hearing the story from the pegger at weekend

On Friday, the pegger was going to a gig in town with her mate

Went into town early doors, summat to eat, then the pair of them got pissed

At about 10.20pm I received a call asking me where the venue was....I gave precise instructions but wondered why she was almost in rusholme

They arrived at the venue to find that the gig had just finished

No problem, these things happen, but further discussion found that whilst she was heading to a gig here....
http://www.thedeafinstitute.co.uk/


She actually ended up here....http://www.manchesterdeafcentre.com/

....where to the best of my knowledge don’t have the facilities or licence for live music

Fucking thick mare

Last edited by no fun; 13-03-2018 at 01:33 PM.
 
Unread 13-03-2018, 01:30 PM
RemisMoses
 
Default

A concert for the deaf? Does that mean they will be loads of noise or wont be? Its hard to work out. They are just deaf and not deaf offenders aren't they?
 
Unread 13-03-2018, 01:31 PM
no fun
 
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by RemisMoses
A concert for the deaf? Does that mean they will be loads of noise or wont be? Its hard to work out. They are just deaf and not deaf offenders aren't they?
Wtf?
 
Unread 13-03-2018, 02:46 PM
RemisMoses
 
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by no fun
Wtf?


Sorry pal, obscure alan partridge reference


Alan: On the way here quite near by I did see a community centre with a mural on the side?
Estate Agent: School for the deaf.
Alan: Right. That mean there will be noise or there won’t be noise? Difficult one to figure out, that. But they’re just deaf, they’re not deaf offenders?
Estate Agent: They’re just deaf.
 
Unread 13-03-2018, 02:48 PM
no fun
 
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by RemisMoses
Sorry pal, obscure alan partridge reference


Alan: On the way here quite near by I did see a community centre with a mural on the side?
Estate Agent: School for the deaf.
Alan: Right. That mean there will be noise or there won’t be noise? Difficult one to figure out, that. But they’re just deaf, they’re not deaf offenders?
Estate Agent: They’re just deaf.


Back of the net
Reply
Thread Tools
Similar Threads for: I`m thinking of starting a regular Friday night thread entitled "my wife/bird is a cunt"
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
THE WHO are on "Later" with Jools Holland Friday night ! Fountz Off Topic 3 27-11-2007 02:47 PM
The official "What are you thinking right now " thread. believe Off Topic 38 18-06-2007 05:56 PM
"entitled to go down" if there is contact in the box irk Off Topic 12 10-04-2007 05:54 AM
Official "Fuck Off Richardson you cunt" Thread Enjoying Insanity Off Topic 50 09-04-2007 06:54 PM
The "Why Are You Sat In On Fred Tissue Like A Sad Cunt On Friday Night" Thread Crumps Off Topic 35 15-12-2006 11:56 PM
All times are GMT. The time now is 01:43 PM.

Copyright ©2006 - 2018 utdforum.com. This site is in no way affiliated to Manchester United Football Club.