Our First Team squad - your assessment as it stands:

Sullers, if you're hovering over this, it's a long football post so probably best to just ignore it.

Anyone who else who can be arsed.... here's who currently makes up the "first team" - some of the youngsters I'll not bother giving an assessment to just yet.

1 GK Edwin van der Sar - World Class, old as George Burns, I imagine this will definitely be his last season but in light of the cost of Lloris, or Akinfeev etc, I'm delighted he's staying.
2 DF Gary Neville (captain) - Rumours of his retirement.... I hope he does. Had a lively end to last season, another campaign is a bridge too far for a defender with as little pace as he has.
3 DF Patrice Evra - A £#%&!ing legend & best LB in world football imo fact.
4 MF Owen Hargreaves - Get fit you £#%&!ing curly haired @#%&!. We need what he has, & if he is fit & playing could make a hell of a difference. Not pinning a single hope on him being capable of hacking it after the injuries though.
5 DF Rio Ferdinand - Still the best defender in the league, probably Europe, if & when he is ever capable of playing half a dozen games on the bounce. His Fleetwood is gone, being in & out of the side wasn't an issue last term when we still managed to have the best defence in the league, but can we carry him?
6 DF Wes Brown - Just a great squad player. Delighted to have him.
7 FW Michael Owen - £#%&! off you £#%&!ing Welsh midget @#%&!flap.
8 MF Anderson - Expecting a fat mess, hoping for a Nanners style renanissance after Christmas when fit & competitive. I haven't a clue which way he'll go, he has the talent, but a breadstick where his brain should be.
9 FW Dimitar Berbatov - £#%&! the haters. He's class, and if used right is a great asset, don't play him as a lone striker, don't let him drop to midfield, basically play him as a trequartista in a 4-4-2 in certain games & he'll do what we need. We all know it's 451 in the big games, he wants to be here & I'm happy to have him.
10 FW Wayne Rooney - Genius.
11 MF Ryan Giggs (vice-captain) - Genius. Just getting on.
13 MF Park Ji-Sung - Squad player, like a one man Asian special teams. I expect to see less of him if Big Nanners carries on from last season in all honesty but he knows what is what.
15 DF Nemanja Vidić - Expecting him to go tbf. £30m would be nice, £#%&! off Real.
16 MF Michael Carrick - mincing pissbag, perfectly capable of finding some form & making a Lazarus style comeback, not reliant on pace, just needs to find a pair of chucks. Wouldn't be surprised if he was sold though.
17 MF Nani - BIG hopes for Big Nanners, possibel POTY candidate if he can get a full year of consistent performances in.
18 MF Paul Scholes - Shameful we're reliant on him to pull the strings still, but a testiment to the man he's still capable. Will be a joy to see him finish his career here & anything approaching a dozen good games out of him is a blessing.
19 FW Danny Welbeck - Expect to go on loan, hopefully in the PL. Good luck & lets hope he can get his head up once in a while.
20 DF Fábio - Try not to be a cripple mate. & learn to tackle.
21 DF Rafael - Should be first choice right back all season, regardless.
22 DF John O'Shea - £#%&!ing liability that is on the cusp, but his versatitlity is desperately needed with the cripples we posses in defence & midfield.
23 DF Jonny Evans - The future, hoping he starts the season should Vidic go & stake a claim to stay for years & years.
24 MF Darren Fletcher - Next United captain? How that's happened I don't know!
25 MF Antonio Valencia - Can't complain about his first season, would like to see a fraction more, occasion shot from distance & a smidge more responsibility all round, but every inch a classic United winger. Make him watch Kanchelskis videos on repeat.
26 FW Gabriel Obertan - The £#%&!ing size of his heed! Wolfsburg showed what he could do at a good level, great skills, good pace, just can't get over the size of his bonce. £3m or whatever, who cares, a few good games & a solid squad status will do in all honesty.
27 FW Federico Macheda - erm. errrrrrm. Out on a limb, bit harsh, but I think he might be shit, but a lucky footballer.... 4th choice & who knows. Better born lucky than rich.
28 MF Darron Gibson - Slow, great shot, could find a niche in the side... doubtful. Would sell for £6m+
29 GK Tomasz Kuszczak - Shut up & be a no.2. It suits him.
30 DF Ritchie De Laet - T'ra.
31 MF Corry Evans - Anywhere near his brothers level & it's win.
32 FW Mame Biram Diouf - Loan? Hat-tricks in the stiffs, dogshit in the big boys. Who the £#%&! knows.
35 MF Tom Cleverley - BIG hopes for the lad, seems to have the tekkers, the balls & the rarest of things for an attacking English lad, the facility to get his head up. Could be a delightful surprise.
36 MF David Gray -
37 DF Craig Cathcart - Is he still here?
40 GK Ben Amos -
41 FW Joshua King - Lots have high hopes, can't say I've seen a lot him myself.
42 MF Magnus Wolff Eikrem -
43 MF Matthew James - As with King.
44 DF Joe Dudgeon -
45 DF Oliver Gill -
46 MF Cameron Stewart -
47 MF Oliver Norwood -
— FW Javier Hernández - Little Pea... big impact ? £#%&! the Welsh midget @#%&! off & play this lad when you can, same stature, same instinct, the Mexican appears to be a likable type who's £6m tag makes a mockery of the £5m-ish that Diouf was purchased for... *fingers crossed*.
— DF Chris Smalling - He's had one season at the top level after being non-league, if Fergie & Wenger see a £10m player in him, I'll stick with them. Evans style back-up for a bit but expecting some quick progress in the company he'll be keeping in training (if Rio can walk & Vidic doesn't £#%&! off).

If we started the season with that squad, I'd expect the same as last season. Go close, no cigar.

Start the season with one big signing (Ozil ) & I think we'd win the league. Europe... dunno. Bayern & Inter showed what a well organised side can do & with just enough fire-power it's not a million miles away. I think I'd shit myself if we had to play Barca or Real though.

I reckon we can scrape by for a couple more seasons before full scale implosion decimates the club

ozzie o'ozil would not cut it in the prem week in week out, if we'd have signed sniejder man when we had the chance we'd have got what inter got. breaks my £#%&!ing heart

Originally Posted by Harri Jaffa

I reckon we can scrape by for a couple more seasons before full scale implosion decimates the club

Why don't you just top yourself whilst you're at it, eh??

Originally Posted by TripDownMiseryLane

ozzie o'ozil would not cut it in the prem week in week out, if we'd have signed sniejder man when we had the chance we'd have got what inter got. breaks my £#%&!ing heart

A German not cutting it? He took the piss out of the best England had to offer spinning on his #@&%!. & in the u-21's last Summer as well. He'd do well anywhere.

Sniejder (& Robben) should have joined as part of the Ronaldo deal, but hard cash sat in an account is far better than 2 talents clearly....

Declining by degrees.

Every year that passes we'll get worse until suddenly we're 7th in the league and appointing the former Grashoppers manager to try and save everything.

Sorry, but wouldn't want that utter and absolute @#%&! Robben here in a thousand years

Sneijder, of course. It remains incomprehensible why we didn't insist on him as part of the Ronnie deal

Originally Posted by red in cumbria

Why don't you just top yourself whilst you're at it, eh??

Or maybe infighting will decimate the clubs fanbase

I'm just saying anyway, we will probably be alright for a little while

Testament.

Originally Posted by Harri Jaffa

Or maybe infighting will decimate the clubs fanbase

I'm just saying anyway, we will probably be alright for a little while

Two things to the doomsters:

The Glazers will sell in a couple of years at the most - they will *have* to, if they aren't to lose vast amounts of money themselves (which is, of course, all they really care about) There is at least a possibility they will be replaced by people actually willing to spend some money on us

(of course, we *could* "implode" anyway once SAF goes, as post 1968 - that is why the next manager is so important, whoever owns us)

Also, the incoming rules on turnover and foreign players might just restore a bit of sanity to the game at club level. Of course, that is why our much loved neighbours are apparently trying to buy absolutely everybody right now

The slow decline continues...

Originally Posted by red in cumbria

Sorry, but wouldn't want that utter and absolute @#%&! Robben here in a thousand years

Sneijder, of course. It remains incomprehensible why we didn't insist on him as part of the Ronnie deal

that would have required acting like a football club rather than a branch of wendys. I'm blaming fergie for it, unforgivable mistake 11m and he takes about value

Originally Posted by red in cumbria

Two things to the doomsters:

The Glazers will sell in a couple of years at the most - they will *have* to, if they aren't to lose vast amounts of money themselves (which is, of course, all they really care about) There is at least a possibility they will be replaced by people actually willing to spend some money on us

(of course, we *could* "implode" anyway once SAF goes, as post 1968 - that is why the next manager is so important, whoever owns us)

Also, the incoming rules on turnover and foreign players might just restore a bit of sanity to the game at club level. Of course, that is why our much loved neighbours are apparently trying to buy absolutely everybody right now

Originally Posted by TripDownMiseryLane

that would have required acting like a football club rather than a branch of wendys. I'm blaming fergie for it, unforgivable mistake 11m and he takes about value

Could've had VDV from Ajax for about £4m and Sneijder for about the same. Had them over, showed them around OT and Carrington, allegedly, decided not to bother.

Strange.

Originally Posted by Baron_van_Marlon

Sullers, if you're hovering over this, it's a long football post so probably best to just ignore it

Don't worry mate, looks like most of the doomsters have done exactly that

How is Berbatov class? His finishing or his ability to miss headers from 3yards out?

if we continue our current transfer policy the quality of the squad will eventually drop off. signing these relatively unknown players is all well and good but it can be very hit and miss. next season we will surely have to spend some money as vds, scholes, nev and maybe giggs will be done. maybe that's why fergie won't buy anyone this summer. saving the pennies (and i mean pennies ) for next year.

nft.

Originally Posted by ScarFace

How is Berbatov class? His finishing or his ability to miss headers from 3yards out?

Yeah, he's shit at heading. Well done

Originally Posted by dunk

Could've had VDV from Ajax for about £4m and Sneijder for about the same. Had them over, showed them around OT and Carrington, allegedly, decided not to bother.

Strange.

Summat strange about spending more on a completely unproven centreback than we turned down spending on them?

That said, i'm excited about next season. Think there'll be a few suicides on here if the doom wallowing continues all summer and then all season.

FWIW I'm quite happy with the squad.

I'm hoping Rio and Hargreaves can make contribution's next season, am looking forward to the progress made by the multitude of players in our squad who can and will only improve and am looking forward to seeing Hernandez and Diouf, as I think both will surprise a few once settled, Obertan too.

Slightly unhappy Tosic was never given a go, immensely relieved to see Foster leave, interested as to if/who we will bring in.

I'm not arsed if we don't blaze a trail through the league and Europe, we will be competing, I'm more interested in young players being allowed to develop and a decent, successful FA Cup run