for all his faults, could anyone actually replace fellaini?

Originally Posted by jem

he's the only big man who could really sub ibrahimovic in a like-for-like swap (hairband injury or flounce). he has the physical presence and the chest control.

Chest control, his only real, functional attribute. A like-for-like swap for Ibrahimovic that does not make.

Originally Posted by jem

he is always the first line of defence at corners. useful. not so good actually as a central defender, due to his positional ineptitude, but might improve with coaching. possibly the ball-playing centre back that throb craves?

He's utterly incapable of tracking runners, jumping, heading, reading play and his tackling is far worse than Scholes' ever was. Add to that he's a vicious coward in 50/50s and can't pass with any reliability, I'd say this idea is out the window.

Originally Posted by jem

schneidi.... not really living up to his destroyer reputation.

He never had a destroyer reputation. Was only really known for dictating tempo, passing and reading the game. Never renown for tackling or being physically combative.

Originally Posted by jem

there is always tough tony v. maybe use them in combination for the speed and strength we need.

Madness.

Originally Posted by jem

I think big fellers could turn out to be our new john o'shea. quite adaptable.

He's proven he can't adapt to anything. Not even his supposed natural position of central midfielder.

Originally Posted by jem

perhaps jo mo could also get his head shaved. like signing a new player. jo mo takes the carling cup seriously. and he £#%&!ing loves a sly elbow.

possibly captaincy for the microphone head? he does play for the second best team in the world (after wales), rather than shitty old england. might be able to negotiate our way back into europe.

time to reassess the lad. jo mo comes with a blank tablet.

I've got loads of time for you Jem, you post a lot of sense and if this is a wind up, hats off, its brilliant work. But if it isn't? Man, that's some weapons grade crack you've got hold of there pal. I'd be well interested in buying some if you get any more.

You deserve to be banned

Originally Posted by BarryX

You lost me at Jo Mo, I'm afraid...

But, funnily enough, Jose should be pronounced as 'Hozay': your phonetic nickname for the special one should therefore be Ho Mo.

(nowt wrong with that, mind, but he might night see the funny side being married with kids).

As for Fellaini, just no. Nice sentiments, but the Jose's looking for specialists....

Nope, it's pronounced with a soft J

Originally Posted by jem

fellaini could flourish under jo mo.

he's the only big man who could really sub ibrahimovic in a like-for-like swap (hairband injury or flounce). he has the physical presence and the chest control.

he is always the first line of defence at corners. useful. not so good actually as a central defender, due to his positional ineptitude, but might improve with coaching. possibly the ball-playing centre back that throb craves?

our midfield lacks steel. carrick... meh. schweini... bit delicate in his old age. schneidi.... not really living up to his destroyer reputation. there is always tough tony v. maybe use them in combination for the speed and strength we need.

I think big fellers could turn out to be our new john o'shea. quite adaptable. perhaps jo mo could also get his head shaved. like signing a new player. jo mo takes the carling cup seriously. and he £#%&!ing loves a sly elbow.

possibly captaincy for the microphone head? he does play for the second best team in the world (after wales), rather than shitty old england. might be able to negotiate our way back into europe.

time to reassess the lad. jo mo comes with a blank tablet.

Originally Posted by redhegemony

.

not, apparently, enough for some people.

fellaini has more character than the rest of the team put together. constant criticism and snides have got to hurt. still holds his head up and gets on with his thing. he's an example to the rest of them. we haven't even seen what martial is like with the crowd on his back. maybe he doesn't have the bottle of a fellaini. maybe he will need fellaini to help him through the loss of form. or a leg.

Originally Posted by jem

not, apparently, enough for some people.

fellaini has more character than the rest of the team put together. constant criticism and snides have got to hurt. still holds his head up and gets on with his thing. he's an example to the rest of them. we haven't even seen what martial is like with the crowd on his back. maybe he doesn't have the bottle of a fellaini. maybd he will need fellaini to help him through the loss of form. or a leg.

%@#$&!s. Nft.

Originally Posted by Mr_Ed

%@#$&!s. Nft.

you think he doesn't hear the boos?

wears his heart on his sleeve. there is nothing wrong with the lad's attitude. strength in adversity. must look in the mirror every morning and wonder.

Is Mrs Jem out for the evening, perchance?

Originally Posted by Sapien

Is Mrs Jem out for the evening, perchance?

no. do you seriously think I fantasise about fellaini when she's out?

I just think the big man is due a renaissance. or a naissance. or a puissance.

Originally Posted by jem

I think big fellers could turn out to be our new john o'shea.

Isn't he already?

Originally Posted by jem

you think he doesn't hear the boos?

wears his heart on his sleeve. there is nothing wrong with the lad's attitude. strength in adversity. must look in the mirror every morning and wonder.

Is this from your diary writing about yourself in the third person?

Don't think 10 is a challenge...

Originally Posted by redhegemony

Is this from your diary writing about yourself in the third person?

Don't think 10 is a challenge...

I definitely look in the mirror and think "10".

sometimes 11.

Dembele. So United-y it's untrue. Languid, handsome, dirty. Injury-prone. Fabulous.

Originally Posted by BarryX

Maybe because he adopts the English way, when referring to himself in the third person in front of the English media?

Zlatan knows the score (1.15 for 30 seconds)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EPWvZzrBP0

He's Portuguese so it's a soft J. If he were Spanish it would be the way Zlatan says it there.

Originally Posted by Knockers

Dembele. So United-y it's untrue. Languid, handsome, dirty. Injury-prone. Fabulous.

there was a time when literally everyone wanted us to sign dembele.

fellaini is an anti-footballer, so naturally no footballer could replace him.

Originally Posted by MonkeyOnMyBack

indeed

You want to really test your mettle? Start a thread on why Fellaini should stay - keep it going for 10 pages.

Originally Posted by jem

I never wum about football.

Originally Posted by jem

fellaini could flourish under jo mo.

he's the only big man who could really sub ibrahimovic in a like-for-like swap (hairband injury or flounce). he has the physical presence and the chest control.

he is always the first line of defence at corners. useful. not so good actually as a central defender, due to his positional ineptitude, but might improve with coaching. possibly the ball-playing centre back that throb craves?

our midfield lacks steel. carrick... meh. schweini... bit delicate in his old age. schneidi.... not really living up to his destroyer reputation. there is always tough tony v. maybe use them in combination for the speed and strength we need.

I think big fellers could turn out to be our new john o'shea. quite adaptable. perhaps jo mo could also get his head shaved. like signing a new player. jo mo takes the carling cup seriously. and he £#%&!ing loves a sly elbow.

possibly captaincy for the microphone head? he does play for the second best team in the world (after wales), rather than shitty old england. might be able to negotiate our way back into europe.

time to reassess the lad. jo mo comes with a blank tablet.

What is your £#%&!ing problem? A second child nqat. Attention deficit disorder seeping from every post.

and people haven't figured out hes wumming yet

Originally Posted by Stickman

and people haven't figured out hes wumming yet

It's all he does. Just hard to believe such a grandiose weapon doesn't have better ways to spend his time.

Originally Posted by browser

It's all he does. Just hard to believe such a grandiose weapon doesn't have better ways to spend his time.

Bit quiet at the bank lately..