Predictions for the new season

in the opening 5 fixtures we shall go

Newcastle h D
Pompey a D
Dippers a D
Chelsea a W!!!!!
Bolton h W

Ronaldo will get a nasty reception when he returns to the starting 11.

We will hammer City at OT.

Keegan will step down before Christmas.
Ince will overcelebrate if Blackburn score against us at Ewood after all the baiting from the travelling reds.

2 Victories over Boro

Liverpool will move up a place to 3rd.

Nasri will be Hleb esque. All very pretty but £#%&! all in the way of goals and general end product - but the pundits will gush over him.

Darren Bent to have a good season.

Defoe and Crouch to set the league alight.

Berbatov to celebrate arrogantly after he scores at WHL for us.

Gary Lineker to refer to Crouch and Defoe as 'Little and Large' at least three times during the season.

Gary Lineker to make an 'Art Deco' pun when Deco does something good.

Originally Posted by Zorg

I've been saying this too. Excellent footballer but he will discover to his horror that physical contact is allowed and disappear. I guarantee it.

Plus Essien, Ballack & Lampard are all better suited to the PL IMHO. So if he takes one of their places Chelsea should be less effective, and I bet at least one of them starts complaining about lack of games sooner or later.

Originally Posted by Zorg

I've been saying this too. Excellent footballer but he will discover to his horror that physical contact is allowed and disappear. I guarantee it.

he's not that kind of player at all tbh.

Originally Posted by fix up look SHARPE

he's not that kind of player at all tbh.

Every time I've seen him play he's been a play-acting, whingeing @#%&!. Immense talent but an utter cry-baby who belongs at Arsenal.

1) United will have a shit start to the season if they don't sign anyone
2) Finish second because of shit start, Chelsea win the league
3) Ronaldo will be welcomed back with open arms by the fans as he goes on a charm offensive on 1st September
4) Ronaldo will miss half the season with "niggly injuries"
5) Ronaldo will come back and help win the European Cup
6) Ronaldo will go next summer for £60million
7) City fans will organise a boycott of one home game this year in protest at Frankie.
8) Benitez will leave next summer
9) So will Ferguson and Neville.
10) Nani will have a good season

We will see a picture of a fat #@&%! with a FERGIE OUT bed sheet flag

Originally Posted by Don Stuarte

We will see a picture of a fat #@&%! with a FERGIE OUT bed sheet flag

ferie out ..confirmed

Originally Posted by Stickman

in the opening 5 fixtures we shall go

Newcastle h D
Pompey a D
Dippers a D
Chelsea a W!!!!!
Bolton h W

Id take that now

Originally Posted by puressence

ferie out ..confirmed

Originally Posted by Don Stuarte

Id take that now

gtf don ..we will win all 5

Originally Posted by puressence

gtf don ..we will win all 5

I will bet you £100 we dont win all 5

1. Saha to be injured.

Gerrard will fracture his forehead which puts him out for the whole season, but will still be named in the PFA Team of the Year.

JT will save the planet, puff out his barrel chest and inspire his team to glory. His mere presence in games will intimidate all opposing players and teams. He will also fracture his trendy haircut, but will miraculously be fit to play the following day because he's made of iron.

Arsenal will draw every single game by 90% possession to 10%, which will gain them the title of 'Best team the Universe has ever seen, ever, ever'. Wenger will quite correctly be proclaimed a genius for guiding his team of 9 year olds to such unbelievable heights. Fabregas will be voted 'World Player Of All Time' after sterling performances in the first 4 games.

Torres the worlds greatest striker will continue where he left off last season, by smashing in 250 goals at Anfield and another 1 at Hull away.

Newcastle messiah Kevin Keegan will produce the most attacking team ever witnessed, full of an array of entertaining players like Joey Barton, Alan Smith, Nicky Butt and James Milner. The loyal hoardes of Geordie faithful will support in their millions and roar the team on through thick and thin. If ever some supporters deserved a trophy it's these loyal, wacky, loyal Geordies ...

Meanwhile, United will rack up more points than anyone else, despite not being the best team, not having the best manager, not having the best players, cheating, getting all the ref's decisions and playing absolutely shite in every single game ... again.

On the International front, England - who have the best players in the world and best manager in the world - will put all those years of hurt behind them by winning the World Cup, beating Western Mongolia 2-0 at fortress Wembley. The goals will come from a deflected Frank Lampard effort, and a very brave diving header from the brave JT, who bravely put his head where others would fear to put their feet. JT is knocked clean out while scoring, fractures his skull in 17 places and is rushed to hospital, - but bravely returns 5 minutes later to receive the cup as leader of the nation.

Looking forward to it already ...

Originally Posted by Tumescent Throb

1. At least one of United's youngsters to proper make their mark
2. United stand tall against City despite the leg-break tackles
3. Rooney to miss 20 games through injury and suspension again
4. Giggs and Scholes to mentor United to 3-in-a-row, despite being criticised throughout the season
5. Ronaldo to be top scorer again
6. United's players to remember that it's not only their families who're watching when they score at the Strettie
7. United to fail to retain the CL, Real making it 10
8. Ferguson's detractors to blame tactical ineptitude
9. Blame blame blame
10. and more blame

great shout. Stop running and pointing to the family stand you #@&%!s. The proper supporters are behind the goal.


Here's sparky's predictions:

1.our worst start to a PL season EVER as we struggle with injuries and a horrendous fixture list.

2. Liverpool will definitely beat us at anfield this year.

3. A nice comfortable win at blackburn as brad friedel has £#%&!ed off.

4. Portsmouth will beat us twice in august.

5. Annual defeat at Stamford bridge.

6. a whole new 'respect the ref' campaign with wayne rooney being the nation's panto villain.

7. every single time ronaldo has a tv interview jeff shreeves will mention real madrid.

8. Arsenal will play 'the greatest football ever' since, well, the football they played last season.

9. Everything john terry does will be hailed as 'heroic' after his nightmare in Moscow. Example: "John terry put his Moscow hell behind him yesterday by scoring 2 goals against Hull. The Chelsea skipper redeemed himself by garroting two players at a corner and then rugby tackling the goalkeeper before volleying home from inside the net."

10. Ronaldo will be booed by 2 sets of supporters this season. ABU's and selected morons from within our own.

Giggs will lose the ball / disagree with a ref, and stand there glaring at him, with his hands his hips, whilst the opposing team race down the other end

Originally Posted by hopkins

Giggs will lose the ball / disagree with a ref, and stand there glaring at him, with his hands his hips, whilst the opposing team race down the other end

and certain "fans" will use this as an opportunity to say he's a useless @#%&! and should be £#%&!ed off.

Originally Posted by antonin jablonsky

and certain "fans" will use this as an opportunity to say he's a useless @#%&! and should be £#%&!ed off.

and use the term "wage thief"

Originally Posted by hopkins

and use the term "wage thief"

Yup, them mysteriously disappear asfter he scores the goal that wins us the title and penalty that wins the CL.

Originally Posted by antonin jablonsky

Yup, them mysteriously disappear asfter he scores the goal that wins us the title and penalty that wins the CL.

because obviously those two goals now mean that he's never put his hands on his hips after losing the ball