Headlines we'll never see

"fergie calls the glazers @#%&!s"

"gary neville says no comment"

"ryan giggs scores sitter with right foot"

"scholes performs at G.A.Y London"

Originally Posted by dunk

It's £#%&!ing hard to shake off the negative, look at magic and his postcard.

£#%&! off

Anyway,


"marlo buys oversized hat"

"Fred End of Year Awards to be Televised"

Moyes defeats Mourinho in European cup final.

Tevez - 'No comment'

Leg Saf takes down Ronaldo 'abs' poster.

'Fergie: 'Red wine is bad for you'.

'Scouser accepts blame'

Mourinho: 'I owe it all to God'.

"Hargreaves plays full game"

Was Diana Assassinated?

Zorg hates FC

"sullers logs out"

Waynes Ear's suggests attractive woman isn't a moose

Originally Posted by borsuk

borsuk manages to produce a short snappy succinct one liner which doesn't drone on needlessly or contain semi-colons; and which makes everybody else laugh

duckers consoles ginners after heavy gambling loss

Zlatan turns up in champions league.

Originally Posted by Ginners

duckers consoles ginners after heavy gambling loss

Ginners Declines V-Cash

Jack Duckworth buys caravan.