The Vidal Trials

Ladies and gentlemen, it is with heavy heart that I open the Vidal Trials this September in the year 2014. The trials have been much publicised and with that comes a responsibility on us all to uphold one of the key tenets of our society, a right to justice and a fair trial. Despite the calls from the baying crowd, some of whom do urinate their bedclothes whilst watching streamed matches, I will have failed you all if this trial doesn't uphold this one principle above all others.

For those with learning difficulties, it's worth pointing out that this isn't a conventional trial. I'm currently sat on the downstair loo writing this on an iPad whilst my wife paces suspiciously outside the door. Unfortunately the beast that I've just passed required me to have an epidural and has left me somewhat red-faced - this combined with the time I've taken and me taking a device that supports the internet into the loo has only caused her suspicions to be raised.

Anyway, I propose to have a three man (nwaf) jury to consider the evidence and I will invite them to put forward their views before sentence is passed. Those standing trial will be firstly identified and then charged before being invited to make representations on their own behalf or if preferred, appoint counsel to act for them. The general public and victims will be invited to pass comment, evidence and gifs which the jury can decide to ignore or accept during the trial.

My first job therefore is to invite fredsters to put themselves forward as jurors. Those from the on camp will not be considered.

Secondly, I would ask victims and curtain twitchers in general (ric) to identify the worst perpetrators.

Thirdly the charge. The charge is that individuals have knowingly or unknowingly mis led this forum into believing that Arturo Erasmo Vidal Pardo or 'Vidal' was being transferred from Juventus to Manchester United this summer. My particular concern surrounds the certainty with which this assertion was made by certain fredsters.

I'm aware of a few key perpetrators who have already identified themselves including bunker buster, Waynes ears and Il Capo dei Capi, The Watcher. I'm also aware that some of these people have already made statements in their defence. I've also noted, and I'm minded to encourage this approach, that waynes ears has already offered a forfeit for his part in thistravesty.

Lastly, within this thread, I must be referred to as Your Honour. I will also not object to being referred to as Your Honour elsewhere on the forum and if our paths cross, irl.

Nrat

I am "the man on the top of the Clapham Omnibus" and volunteer in the spirit of true impartiality once I have located my black cap and rope.

Originally Posted by My Name is Keith

Ladies and gentlemen, it is with heavy heart that I open the Vidal Trials this September in the year 2014. The trials have been much publicised and with that comes a responsibility on us all to uphold one of the key tenets of our society, a right to justice and a fair trial. Despite the calls from the baying crowd, some of whom do urinate their bedclothes whilst watching streamed matches, I will have failed you all if this trial doesn't uphold this one principle above all others.

For those with learning difficulties, it's worth pointing out that this isn't a conventional trial. I'm currently sat on the downstair loo writing this on an iPad whilst my wife paces suspiciously outside the door. Unfortunately the beast that I've just passed required me to have an epidural and has left me somewhat red-faced - this combined with the time I've taken and me taking a device that supports the internet into the loo has only caused her suspicions to be raised.

Anyway, I propose to have a three man (nwaf) jury to consider the evidence and I will invite them to put forward their views before sentence is passed. Those standing trial will be firstly identified and then charged before being invited to make representations on their own behalf or if preferred, appoint counsel to act for them. The general public and victims will be invited to pass comment, evidence and gifs which the jury can decide to ignore or accept during the trial.

My first job therefore is to invite fredsters to put themselves forward as jurors. Those from the on camp will not be considered.

Secondly, I would ask victims and curtain twitchers in general (ric) to identify the worst perpetrators.

Thirdly the charge. The charge is that individuals have knowingly or unknowingly mis led this forum into believing that Arturo Erasmo Vidal Pardo or 'Vidal' was being transferred from Juventus to Manchester United this summer. My particular concern surrounds the certainty with which this assertion was made by certain fredsters.

I'm aware of a few key perpetrators who have already identified themselves including bunker buster, Waynes ears and Il Capo dei Capi, The Watcher. I'm also aware that some of these people have already made statements in their defence. I've also noted, and I'm minded to encourage this approach, that waynes ears has already offered a forfeit for his part in thistravesty.

Lastly, within this thread, I must be referred to as Your Honour. I will also not object to being referred to as Your Honour elsewhere on the forum and if our paths cross, irl.

Nrat

ffs

m'lady, my only crime is sharing joy and dreams M'lady

I serve at my forum's pleasure, your honour.

hang the buggers

Hang the @#%&!s.

£#%&!ing hang them, no trial, no jury.

I can represent the interests of the lurkers on the jury your majesty sir

Can I be the guy who sketches their images?

I didn't post a thing in the thread m'lud and my wife's a solicitor (no wum) so I would like to volunteer as a juror.

Originally Posted by teflon_terry

I serve at my forum's pleasure, your honour.

Terrence, can you confirm where you stood on the matter. On off or fence? Pretty sure rougers wasn't involved which coupled with his legal training makes him extremely suitable.

You would make a very worthy addition but I need to establish your impartiality.

Spoke to my guy.

Juve didn't want to risk him failing a medical thus affecting his value in the future.

If he gets to January without a relapse it's on.

I motion to adjourn til the 1st February 2015.

Originally Posted by Crumps

Spoke to my guy.

Juve didn't want to risk him failing a medical thus affecting his value in the future.

If he gets to January without a relapse it's on.

I motion to adjourn til the 1st February 2015.

Over ruled.

Originally Posted by Crumps

Spoke to my guy.

Juve didn't want to risk him failing a medical thus affecting his value in the future.

If he gets to January without a relapse it's on.

I motion to adjourn til the 1st February 2015.

Enough of these lies!!

He's trying to play you for a fool, your honour

Originally Posted by Crumps

Spoke to my guy.

Juve didn't want to risk him failing a medical thus affecting his value in the future.

If he gets to January without a relapse it's on.

I motion to adjourn til the 1st February 2015.

Originally Posted by Sparky***

Enough of these lies!!

He's trying to play you for a fool, your honour

Noted.

Originally Posted by My Name is Keith

Terrence, can you confirm where you stood on the matter. On off or fence? Pretty sure rougers wasn't involved which coupled with his legal training makes him extremely suitable.

You would make a very worthy addition but I need to establish your impartiality.

Hmmm. Well I was firmly in the off camp. However I can assure the forum of my utmost impartiality in respect of the legal process. Apart from The Watcher. That mofo is going down. Your honour.

Originally Posted by Clarkie

Can I be the guy who sketches their images?

motion to strike this guys comment from the record and replace it with my name

Originally Posted by Sparky***

Enough of these lies!!

He's trying to play you for a fool, your honour

Are you the bloke I saw outside the court shouting and banging on the G4S van carrying the accused?