Doom Required

This Forum needs the structural support of some decent slabs of doom before it becomes crippled under the weight of it's own heady optimism.

I'll just see what I've got in the backroom.

Hold up, just let me get...jeeez these are heavy....can someone hel...no I'm alright.....there:

"Chelsea are the form team - United just about crawled over the line in the Premiership. I can easily see Ballack notching the winner"

“The Russian climate isn’t good for Scholes asthma…and he’s only gone and £#%&!ing forgotten his ventilator”

"Behave yourself, Park's not a United player. He can’t properly see for a start off. If he starts we're £#%&!ed"

“Silvestre’s defo playing and apparently, Saha’s got the nod.”

There. We need a few more to counterbalance the lightheartedness before the whole thing lifts off like a helium balloon.

I’m hoping Whaley will sheet pile some doom and then maybe M J Ramone can lay a decent morose base course.

But everyone’s welcome.

Agreed, people are already talking scorers and parades.

Can someone unban legendary_saf and invite him back for one night only.

I'll add some more Keith...

"Ronaldo never does it in the big games"

"Nani has got to watch himself"

"We need an out and out striker who can actually score goals"

"I don't like the way VDS kicks"

"Does my bum look big in this?"

"The referee was a survivor of the holocaust and his Father was one of Schindler's jews"

Fergie doesn't help with his "We're bouncing into the final now" claptrap.

You might be Fergie but some of us are £#%&!ing shitting our pants. Like you did in your car that time. You know, when you were caught speeding and that.

Ferguson is bent

The ref tomorrow night is the ref that allowed the Luis Garcia 'goal' to stand in 2005.

He might want to even things up.






















Beat that £#%&!ers.

If Scholes and Giggs start we'll lose.

Fergie always plays shit tactics in europe, we'll lose.

Ronaldo's chlamydia will inflame under the immense cold of moscow.

We will probably play really cautious and the game will end up scrappy and tight which plays into their hands then they'll nick it near the end.

Ronaldo will try and turn it into the 'Ronaldo show' trying to prove he is the best in the world which will then affect his normal game.

Our midfield won't get forward and will offer £#%&! all.

Rooney will be stuck on the wing chasing back and playing as a wing back.

We will basically have no striker up front.

Chelsea always beat us when it matters, they are bigger, stronger and more efficient and in games like this, that's what counts.

The 21st of May denotes the number '2105' which if you take 97 away from it equals 2008. 2105 are the last 3 digits of JT's phone number and 97 is the number of times Ashley Cole shoved his phone up his arse before mistakingly calling his agent which later led to his Chelsea move.

The dodgy pitch will stop us playing our proper game, their "lump it up to Drogba" tactics won't be affected at all

Ronaldo's gone off the boil lately

The ref & his linesmen will currently be enjoying some excellent hospitality, courtesy of Abramovich

We didn't make any major defensive blunders against Barcelona, that can't last

If it goes to penalties, we'll miss them all

The pitch!!!!!!

Ronaldo wont turn up for the game, be anonymous as he doesnt do it against big teams then fearing he will never win the champions league with United after we get crushed 3-0 he will leave for Liverpool taking Rooney with him. Following these events Ferguson will be sacked and Graeme Souness will be drafted in to replace him.

John "JT" "The Lionheart" Terry is the greatest leader on the European continent since Charlemagne. He cannot be beaten.

Originally Posted by antonin jablonsky

John "JT" "The Lionheart" Terry is the greatest leader on the European continent since Charlemagne. He cannot be beaten.

from Neighbours?

Originally Posted by signed dc

If it goes to penalties, we'll miss them all

imagined you screaming that last bit in anguish

They've already got some special "RIP Pat Lampard - We won it for you" t-shirts printed up to wear for the presentation, they won't want to waste them.

Chelsea are a team of physical brutes, nay beasts. They will play with all of the swagger of the titans, sweeping us mere mortals to one side. They've got one good performance in them and we're going to feel the full brunt of their creative potential. Shevchenko? Joke? Forget it. Ukranian born and bred, how better than to stick one up to the mother country and do the business in Moscow. Ferie hasn't got a clue when it comes to beating Chelsea. he relies on changes in management or the saftey of points/goals in hand to get any victory over them in recent years - 3 wins in 4 seasons? Laughable.
Who's going to grab us by the scruff of our necks when the chips invariably fall? Keano? Robbo? £#%&!allo more like. A bunch of prima donna fancy boys more concerned with the bright lights of M16 and the bryllcreme counter at superdrug. More? Lamps deserves this for his mum. Ashley deserves this for his rocky road to regaining marital harmony and Avram too for the press hacks. We've won it twice for pete's sake, they never. they are due. It's on.
It's on.

John JT Terry has refused to have his hair professionally cut for the match insisting instead to cut it himself using a blunt knife.