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Old 10-09-2007, 03:44 PM
Grimson
 
Default Burying old lamps

I have a problem - now that I live in a city, I can't bury my old lamps anymore, like one does. I have a couple of lamps that I no longer find acceptable. What should I do?

Serious answers only please, nothing about Frank Lampard.
 
Old 10-09-2007, 03:48 PM
dodger
 
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Grimson
I have a problem - now that I live in a city, I can't bury my old lamps anymore, like one does. I have a couple of lamps that I no longer find acceptable. What should I do?

Serious answers only please, nothing about Frank Lampard.
rub them, see what happens
 
Old 10-09-2007, 03:48 PM
Smurf
 
Default

Leave it on the subway, unless it's bomb shaped.
 
Old 10-09-2007, 03:53 PM
Fuzzy Dunlop
 
Default

This is actually wierd, I was over in NY this time last year and there were lamps everywhere. At least one lamp in everyroom, and if you think about it, Manhattan alone must have about 80million rooms. That's a lot of lamps and NYers are constantly changing up. Apparenty something can be in & out fashion over there within an hour.
 
Old 10-09-2007, 04:20 PM
MonkeyOnMyBack
 
Default

Death of a lamp

I dont do well with change. This latest one proves it. This bulb burnt out in the hallway outside my door. Then this wrath of dead bulb flu spread to my room.I have this gold lamp that Ive had next to my bed for ever. I love this lamp as only a man can love a lamp. Its a touch lamp. I leave it on before I go to work and it welcomes me when I come home at midnight. It lights my way as I stumble into bed. I grope my way in the darkness of the morning or afternoon when I awake in my nearly windowless black lair. My fingers find their way up my speaker, over my clock to the golden metal. Just one touch and there is light. Each touch brings a higher degree of brightness. Too bad that does work with people. The sad news is a few days ago I asked my lamp to get brighter and as I touched it it remained just dim. Touching turned to slapping and then slapping to almost hitting. I dont believe in lamp violence. Alas today I woke to my alarm at 8am and turned on my lamp residing in the fact of current state of dimness. I feel back asleep til 10:30 when I noticed its spirit had risen to lamp heaven and it would light no more. This lamp that I had grown up with; had borrowed from my parents when I was a teenager and old enough to appreciate its coolness. I had even fairly recently bought my own first lamp which is also a touch lamp of sorts.
I went through all the stages of dealing with death. I refused to accept it and tried new bulbs, new outlets, and even tried surgery. I took its bottom off and discovered the secret machine inside that creates its touchy magic. The little machine was a solid molded white block of something with wires going into it. Stamped on the side was the date Jan.28 1983. The year of its birth perhaps. So that would make it 23 yrs old right? Its not enough that my parents are gone now you had to take my lamp? Why God why? Okay maybe Im over reacting.

So anger became resistance and finally acceptance. Im suppose I will just bury the lamp out in the yard with all the other dead lamps and appliances. Then I will go out and buy a new lamp. Where one earth can I find a touch as good this one. I shall now quote the bible by saying " I am the light of the world." Amen.

Not that will help much, but you now know you're not alone at least.
 
Old 10-09-2007, 04:27 PM
Ether
 
Default

I usually give mine to a home for unwanted lamps. You should be able to find your nearest one in the back of Illumination Monthly.
 
Old 10-09-2007, 04:28 PM
Amish Mash
 
Default

Line them with fur, matching ones obviously, and parade round with them on the side of your head, in Winter obviously, confirming to everybody they are the next big thing in earmuff fashion.
 
Old 10-09-2007, 04:33 PM
Ed Sullivan
 
Default

thought this was about fat f****
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