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Translating football speak.
My real pet hate, which 'JT' has come out with today is:
"I was flattered by their (City's ) interest" Really £#%&!s me off this.John Terry was 'flattered' by City bidding for him.Riiiight.What he means is: "I'll say only good things about small time Man City because next season, they'll still be desperate and Chelsea might realise I'm not really worth 150k a week.And I might just want a pay-rise so I'll keep the door slightly ajar, even though I wouldn't really dream of going to City." Sometimes a player being 'Flattered' by someones reported interest means: "Please put a concrete bid in, I'm dying to get away from here!" Any others? |
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When a player moves to a new club and they're asked about what personal goals they are aiming to achieve and they give the standard "i'm just here to do a job for sunderland football club, work hard for the team and hope to help the team to do well"
darren bent was responsible for this standard answer last week. |
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And I really hate the: "Oh yes, I'm really happy here.I want to stay.But, in football, you never know." Which translates into: "You won't see me as this £#%&!ing pig-sty next week." |
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pissed myself! |
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Shreeves: "So Stevie G, why are you so brilliant" Gerrard: "Well, you know geoff i just do my best and take each game as it comes. Shreeves: "Fascinating." Shreeves: "So ronaldo, you cheating bastard, why did you dive? You know diving is bad don't you." Ronaldo: "The player he touched me, it's a foul" Shreeves: "So when are you going to real madrid? Eh? Please just £#%&! off will you so stevie can win the league." Shreeves: "Wayne, the camera caught a bit of you using a naughty word there, the nation is now ready for your unreserved apology for ruining everything." Rooney: "what?" Shreeves: "You know, when you said the 'F' word. One of our ten zillion cameras picked it up and now the world is going to end. You know that don't you wayne - you've killed the world!" |
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tbf with Ronaldo he was more likely to have come up with some cryptic sentence that made no sense to someone who didn't speak fluent english |
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